So I'm thinking about coming out to my entire friend group but I'm hesitating... The thing is, I already came out to (the very few) people who I think MAY reject me, make a big fuss over it, or act in a way that I couldn't predict. And so far I've ran into 0 problems! So the biggest obstacles among my friend group are over already. Now, the majority left are great friends as well but also very open-minded. I'm 100% sure they won't care if I tell them or not. We're a pretty fun group that focus more on having fun/being ourselves than on gossip/dating etc. so I rarely ever would be put in the uncomfortable situation where they are talking about boys w/e. I just thought that since my sexuality is totally personal... What does who I want to date or sleep with got to do with my friends? There's no fear of rejection because i KNOW they'll love me anyways. It just feels like an irrelevant topic. Like... "Hey I like girls." "Umm okay cool why'd you tell us that? How does that has to do with anything" awkward... Our community is so gay-friendly that I just don't feel like coming out at all. This doesn't mean I want to HIDE it per say. I'll say no if someone asks whether I like a certain guy or not. And I'm sure in the future when I get a girlfriend I won't hide it neither. But I don't feel the particular need to gather my friends up into this big event just to tell them I'm gay because it's already such a NON-ISSUE around here. But I still feel compelled to come out at the same time (I'm contradicting I know). I also feel guilty that I'm not telling my closest friends that would love me no matter what. And one of my friends will be going back to Philippines for a long time after high school and I feel I need to tell her before she leaves... So should I "come out" now? Or should I roll along and naturally come out when I eventually have to introduce my girlfriend if I ever have one?
Dear Whyte As I am unable to force you do so etching I can only suggest. So don't think you have to what I say. If you think it wouldn't change anything then tell them, however you said you didn't know how they would react. Or you could do what I did when I came out to my friends, I waited, I waited until I knew that they would be fine with who I was. I think you should tell your closest friends because if you come across a stubborn one you have friends to back you up. That's all I can suggest, if you need to ask me a question, I'll be sure to answer it. The best of luck -Dex
Coming out helps other closeted individuals if they're present, and helps inoculate your friends against the homophobia that can stay latent in otherwise decent people.
Maicob is right. Also, coming out, I think, is another form of telling your friends "Hey, you matter in my life and I trust you" After coming out, to some friends, separately, they have told me I must have trusted them a lot to reveal something like that to them. But if you feel like that coming out would be an irrelevant topic in your group of friends you could try coming out casually, like when they ask "Hey, what do you think about that guy" you could answer like ",mmm, I am gay so I don't think anything sexual if that what you mean"
If you already know they'll react well, then go about it casually. I think that coming out to someone is a show of trust and of faith, because you're telling them something personal about your life. You're letting them in and opening up a communication channel between you, and by doing so you're establishing that connection (or breaking it in the event of a bad reaction, which sadly happens far too often). But like I said, if you know how they'll react, then go about it casually and don't make a big deal of it.
