So my whole family are in the front room and all of a sudden my sister goes "Lucy?" and shows me her phone and she's on the youtube home page which shows you recommended videos that people you're subscribed to have 'liked', and there's a video right at the top that says 'lucy likes this' or whatever and the video was 'how can you be sure that you're gay?' LOL ACCEPT NOT. Luckily she's not the most intelligent person in the world and my acting school finally paid off for something cause I deflected that son of a gun like a goddamn boss. But seriously my heart jumped into my mouth I couldn't even function for a second. I watch all these videos on YouTube of these gay women and hide the screen from everyone because God forbid they see me watching a woman talking to a camera, they'll definitely know that I'm gay. There is no logic! Sometimes all I want to do is just tell my mum that I'm gay but I can't bring myself to. I think what I'm worried about most is coming out and then a few months down the line saying 'actually sorry guys turns out I'm not gay I've actually been straight all along! Lolololol!' Like no I don't want that to happen. There's a part of me that thinks maybe I should just come out as bi because maybe I am, but I I don't know! When I thought I was straight, the idea of marriage and kids freaked me right out, but thinking about it with a woman makes me excited about the future. My question is when you came out were you 100% sure of your sexuality? I only ask because I don't want to wait for maybe 10 years to finally be sure of myself to be comfortable sharing that part of myself with the people I love. If I feel this way right now is it worth coming out even though at some point in the future that might, however slim the chances, change? Sorry it's a long post. Any and all advice welcome! Thanks for reading!
Do you know why most people doubt their sexuality like you do? Because ever since you were born 'straight' has been normal. Why would saying you are gay and then realising you're not later be a bad thing? Because we worry people will think bad of us for even considering that we might be gay. How terrible is that? We are so worried that people are going to be disgusted that we liked someone of the same sex for a while that we completely forget that it's COMPLETELY FINE to be wrong! Do you have ANY physical or romantic attraction to men? Do you have any reason what-so-ever to think you might actually be straight? From what you've said it sounds like the end of a straight relationship for you is dating and a miserable break-up. The end of a gay relationship is makes you EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE. What does it matter if it changes? You don't have to justify the gender of the person you love to ANYBODY.
Everything you said is completely right, I guess it is the fear that is holding me back. Thank you for making me see straight! (Wow the irony)
Oh and also, you can totally hide your likes and subscriptions from people on youtube if you wanted to avoid this situation in future!
I know I did that when I first got it 6 years ago but apparently you can't control what shows up on a phone. Who knew! But thank you for your help
I went though the same thing not some one outing me but doubting whether I should come out as gay and then suddenly I wasn't and went back on it and I would feel bad. But I didn't I thought about a lot more and then when I 100 percent sure I was gay I told people slowly. So take your time don't rush and good luck. X
