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reactions

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by aspie musician, Mar 17, 2014.

  1. The reactions when coming out as bi from others: ''No your not'', ''Why dont you go for animals as well'' ''You will have to pick a side one day'' ''You have had a boyfriend,but not a girlfriend.That means you are gay'' ''Just accept the fact that you are gay.Its not that hard'' ''You are way too good looking to have any type of feelings for women'' ''you are just confused'' ''its the stepping stone to gay'' etc etc etc...There have been some vague positive reactions but not that many(mostly from bisexuals though).I have even been labeled as ''straight but seeking attention'' by some.My ex wondered whether I was straight at some stage since I do not fit into the typical gay guy stereotype.Then there are those that will hapilly support me if I come out as gay.But bi is met with ''just pick your side'' or ''gay is not a choice but being bi is''.Wow.How deep.In any case I hope I have not upset anyone on the site.I just feel like I have to let things out.
     
  2. thrnvlpidj

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    Bisexuals reveal some of my insecurities but I can respect someone who is open to a relationship without regard to gender.
     
  3. Hi.Thanx for being open and honest,it is much appreciated.I suppose I am just going through a rough patch at the moment.I am usually a really anxious person,quit smoking awhile ago,and having some family probs.Not that its an excuse.So if I seem really aggro at the moment its just me struggling to cope.Sorry about that.
     
  4. thrnvlpidj

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  5. I doubt I fit into the ''normal'' category(whatever that is).I suppose I am too apologetic at times. I have always been the weird geeky kid that no1 understands so I suppose that I should learn to be more confident in myself(my selfconfidence fluctuates).Yeah, this site is pretty cool. Its good to let it all out at times.
     
  6. GayCJ

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    Hello fellow weird geeky kid that no1 understands! I've found that the best way to maintain self confidence is to admire all the things that I do good, and address the bad minimally. Like, I came out to 4 new people today, and 1 old one that forgot was reminded! I try to minimally address the fact that I have a horrible insomnia problem, I've only got 3 friends, and that I forget to do my homework on a regular basis. It works really well!
     
  7. IsThisAName

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    That's a great philosophy. I like it :slight_smile:
     
  8. ImHappy247

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    I actually think Im something near pansexual but most people dont even know what that is so its easier to say ''Well yeah, Im bisexual'' and no one has ever said something like those things you wrote. Maybe some of my friends think that way but at least I havent heard it. I think for some people bisexuality is just too complicated to understand (even if in my opinion choosing one side is super hard to understand, like... You got the best of both worlds and all that) So yeah, I think that sometimes we just have to accept the fact that people sees us as bicurious or gays waiting to come out completely (that last one is probably the fault of some gays who actually use that method to come out parcially but oh well, I dont mind)
     
  9. Lawrence

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    When I was with girls I was pressured to be straight. Now I'm with a guy and I'm pressured to be gay. That's what some people think. It's as if they think bisexuality doesn't exist. Maybe the most annoying people are the ones that say I'm easy.

    I've tried to explain pansexuality to people, usually to no avail. They accuse me of making it up.

    Seemingly all you can do is bark back or ignore them.
     
  10. IsThisAName

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    Someone on here said something that I absolutely loved (I forgot their username unfortunately): to be bisexual is to be fully straight and fully gay. People think it's half and half--it's not. Some days I like girls more, some days I like guys more. We are never half and half, we are just both all at once, and we are definitely real.
     
  11. I guess I am just feeling low.Will be fine.Will focus on the positives and work on self-confidence.Most people are not all that interested or do not care about the flaws anyway,should know that by now.As for the sexuality issue-I suppose I am just pretty much scared about the sexual aspect of things if I have to be blunt.Its not that I do NOT want to do it.I am just scared thats all.But will probably get used to the idea.Eventually.Anyway thanx for all the responses.
     
  12. White Knight

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    Don't worry much about sexual aspect of things. If you and your partner really love each other there is nothing can't be worked out with understanding and patience.

    As for "Being Bi". I think bi is new gay. I remember when I was younger people was saying there is no such thing as homosexuality (Hah I hope that didn't make me sound like a dinosaur ^^). In modern world people wheter they like it or not have some basic knowledge about gay members.

    In some sense it is more easy to relate than bi or other fluid sexual identities. Just follow your heart. If you fall in love with a guy or gal is it really matter what others call you as long as you love each other and happy?

    Trying to make everyone happy will make you unhappy.
     
  13. Hi.Makes sense.I suppose I am making a huge issue of it since I am basically depressed.Should probably just swallow my pride,go to the GP,and ask for new antidepressants.Hate doing it but if I dont I suppose I will just make things worse for myself.Thanx for the support.Enough label talk.Time to get new happy pills and focus on something more productive.

    ---------- Post added 19th Mar 2014 at 02:36 AM ----------

    And yeah I try to make people happy but even then its not good enough so might as well be myself.