Soo.. first off, I hope I chose the right sub-forum, second it's quite confusing what I wanna say. (I don't know how to start... but yeah ) So, summer last year I began having a crush on a good friend from who I knew that she's bisexual (so I told her, that I MIGHT be interested in girls as well^^). Now she has a boyfriend and I'm very sad about it, but I think I have to get over it. One day I told my best friend that I'm bisexual (even if I'm unsure if I'm gay or bi) and she reacted very well. I told 1 or 2 other persons, everything was fine. So in my enthusiasm of being accepted by friends I started telling 2 boys about my identity without thinking of it. The first boy was my 'best friend' and at first he also reacted 'normally', so he said it was alright. The other boy (unfortunatly my ex-boyfriend, don't know what happened to me telling him everything) also said that it's okay. But then, I think two weeks or so later (yesterday -.-) I heared from another person that the second boy told his friends me being bisexual and I heared that someone said like me being a ..."masculine women" (an insult in german). My fear is, that those friends tell other people and so on so that everyone knows. I don't have problems that other persons know that I'm bi, but I think I'm not ready for this, for officially coming out until I figured out who I am. The worst thing is, that I have 3-4 closer friends and my parents which I didn't came out to yet. I don't want them to hear it from anyone else, that would be a horrible feeling, 'cause I wouldn't know what they'd think. One of my friends is very religious and I don't know how she behaves towards bi-/homosexuals. Now I'm asking you for advice: Should I tell them that I'm bisexual, even if I'm unsure if I'm gay or bi and not really 100% ready coming out, but preventing that they hear it from anyone else?:help: Thanks (sorry if I made any mistakes in language :s)
You don't need to be sure you are gay or bi to come out to them i think. You may say you are confused about your sexuality, or even better if it is the case, say you are sure you aren't straight. Don't worry about labels. Sometimes, they may confuse you, instead of helping. It's up to you if you want to come out now. Of course, there is the risk that the "news" may reach your parents, but, considering this, do you prefer to wait until it happens or until you are better prepared to tell them yourself, or do you feel ready enough (i know it is hardly confortable, though) to tell them? Good Luck
Thanks a lot My mom today was a bit funny: First we spoke about, that parents have to accept their children no matter what it is and at the dinner we spoke about something like homo- and bisexuality and it kinda confuses me because it didn't seem intended by her at all ^^ so don't know what to think about it, but I'm pretty sure she'll accept it. When we spoke, I thaught "THIS IS THE PERFECT MOMENT" but noooo... I'm too afraid of whatever.
Nice! Don't rush it if you don't want to, tell them when you feel you are ready. You may leave small clues in these conversations too :icon_wink Good Luck
yeah thats right^^ so if I tell my mother I also have to tell my father one day (they're divorced) x) how can I start a conversation? At what do I need to look at when I'm talking to my mother?
You may start by simply saying "Mom, can we talk for a minute?" (however, do it when both of you have plenty of time to talk and both are in good mood, if possible). Or you can start by casually commenting about an gay actor or actress, for example, and then tell her about you. You can write a letter too. Just don't sugar coat it too much. Just say it. And she may have a lot of questions, so the conversation should flow naturally. Good Luck
