Need some serious advice

Isn't there some place on campus you can get counselling?

All I can give you is a (*hug*).

Hang in there. Someone more helpful will reply soon.

 

Hello Mr. Ohio!

There are a lot of things I'd like to say, but I'll try to keep this brief and concise.

1) You are a invaluable, irreplaceable individual. Someone who-- although others might not see it-- had given the entirety of their heart to another. You may not know it, but I can tell you're a very thoughtful, caring, and affectionate individual.

2) That being said, never lose your childish hope and optimism. It's hard to regain and easy to forget. The heart does mend with time. Love, hatred, and time all possess incredible powers of healing.

3) With that in mind, for now, I would simply suggest that you turn your attention to something else. Focus on school, on your career, a job, an internship, friendships, hobby, pursuit-- anything. Lingering on what happened doesn't appear to be advancing your cause, only reducing your happiness. First-time loves are often heartbreaking, and you will recover from this.

4) I have no suggestions for your parents. Thankfully, you're reaching that time (or soon will) when you can move up, move on, move out. Onwards to college, to independence, to adulthood, to self-sufficiency. It's an incredible journey and, I suppose, we're all taking that journey throughout our lives. I'm sorry your mother responded so cruelly, but finding "ways out" might do you some good.

 

I know that my university has a Psych center and a separate counseling center, and they have been amazingly helpful for me. I go and talk with them about what I have been going through and they have been giving me some helpful advice. It might be worth looking into to see if your campus has a center. They are normal cheap if not free for students. You can also go to your RAs for help, they might be able to put you contact with someone who can help.

I'll be praying for you.

 

Hey. I know it seems hard at this moment, but it DOES get better (not to seem cliche on purpose). It really does though. I haven't gone through this but I have a friend who tried (and suceeded) cutting himself with an X-acto knife and tried to kill himself numerous times. I wept every night for him because I couldn't bear the sight of the image in my mind of him being dead. As we speak, he is currently happy and resuming his life. So it does get better trust me If your campus has a psych center, seek it out. I know my school does 8 free sessions, so your school might do something similar. Talk to your RAs, talk to your friends, talk to someone just because you need to put your thoughts out there. As always, I am here if you just want someone to talk to.

You'll be in my prayers.

 

Does your faith help you through all this?
I used to have faith, until I realized it was making my life worse and I dropped it like a stone.
Believing in God is different then being religious, keep that in mind.
I've seen people that seem very happy with the whole church thing, and I have seen others where it is destroying them.
God isn't religion, he's not in a building asking for money and giving you a list of things not to eat, not to think and not to do.
He doesn't have a checklist that gets you into his super special club because you were in the right church!

 

Then I guess it gets you in a positive way, which is good!
I used to go to church to learn, more out of curiosity, then I went to the Mormon one, and they said some real hateful things, so I stopped!

And yes it will be alright, you have a whole life ahead of yourself. Sure it's sad when family life cracks and crumbles and it truly feels like the world is out to get you or hates you or whatever it may be.
But at the end of the day, its just you in bed. As important is family can be, you are the most important person-since you are you.
You are the center of your own universe, and you have to live for your own happiness. Because you'll open your eyes one day and see, having lived for others, you wasted what little time we as humans get.

While I don't personally have the exact same issues, I have my own (mental junk like aspergers and stuff) and there are often times I don't want to get out of bed because I am terrified of the future I will have to face.
But I have to face it, we all do, and we all must find whatever joy we can, because there is so much misery in this world.
So many people trying to take away your joy because they have none.
I donno if any of that rambling stuff made sense, its pretty late where I am.

 

Sorry to hear what you are going thru Angel.

It is cruelest of tortures that heterosexual society inflict on lgbt members. God is the last sanctuary for human soul and they try to strip you of that bliss by putting words in God's mouth.

To me every religion has only one goal: building better humans. Even I say I am a Muslim I can't say I am very religious person. I believe in God because I felt his presence in the past not because someone or something told me to do so.

Faith and being who you really are provides monsterous struggle for your soul. I try to balance those two for 30 years. In the end I born as gay so I can't change that but I can choose how I believe in God. Also I believe God always have a greater plans for us which we can't be aware most of the time.

Now I am happy I born this way as it makes me more open minded indivudal who judge people by their deeds. Not by their religion, color, race or sexual identity. You can hurt people physically but it heals in time. The wounds you open with your words, your ignorance and hate lasts forever.

Just hang on, things will get better. With age you will see things differently, you understand things better. Just keep your head above water for now. Take deep breaths when things become too overwhelming and always remember you are not wrong or alone. We are all your brothers and sisters no matter where we live, what we believe or which language we speak.

Hugs. Stay safe. Always remember you are important.

Knightly

 

I wish I could hug you right now, to show you that somebody still cares for you. However, we are just here as an online support. But I'm glad to know that somehow you are having realizations as per your last post. I was once there, I do have my own suicidal attempts and thoughts, but let me assure you it's no good. Try to find at least someone whom you can openly discuss everything under the sun without him/her being judgemental or so. I am sure you have at least that one person you can trust. Sometimes knowing that someone is physically there even just to listen helps a lot. But if you can really find none, aside from us, it would be better to go to a therapy or counselling so you can try to refocus on certain things. You may also want considering finding a new hobby or past time, or get to know more people. Remember, this too shall pass. You can do it. Keep us posted, it may not be enough but we're here for you.

 

Arkangel,

I'm so sorry you're going through this!

I'm not religious, so I have no words for you in that regard, except that Christianity comes in many forms, and many denominations are accepting and compassionate. Have you tried going to a United Church of Christ or Unitarian Universalist congregation? Even many Episcopal and Methodist churches are inclusive and welcoming.

You sound as though you're suffering from severe depression. Therapy might help a lot, as well as medication. Some of the signs of depression are an inability to engage in your life, a lack of energy to seek help, a sense of being unworthy of compassion, the sense of an enormous hole you cannot fill, of living in a hole so deep you cannot see the light.

The fact that you're having suicidal thoughts is a flashing red light telling you that you need to seek help.

Your life has value. The world is a better place with you in it! There's an old Jewish proverb that says "He who saves a life, saves a world." It's as true of your own life as it is for another's.

Please keep talking here. We may be anonymous, but many here have, at one time or another, had experiences and emotions like yours. And they have survived, even thrived.

Thinking of you. (*hug*)

 

Hello arkangel. You're in Ohio, right above me! I visit the city there sometimes, it's lovely.

Wow, I'm so sorry your mother reacted that way. And your father. Maybe they will come around one day, the whole five stages of grief thing. Regardless of reaction, congrats on coming out to someone. They chose not to give you support but you still did a really brave thing. So good for you for being honest, there is nothing wrong with who you are. (*hug*) And there are sooo many of us who do support and accept you. You are a beautiful being and everything will be okay. <3

Your story is interesting, but I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that. It sounds overwhelming. You are not dumb to feel pain from your own bad experiences. Pain is pain.
You are not the only one who has fallen hard for someone. Love is a huge thing.
Perhaps you need closure from all of that? You could tell him how you feel, just to get it out. Then he'll always know someone loved him, and that's a nice thing.
Just a thought. Maybe there's a better way to get closure. It just sounds like that was a big part of your life.

I'm sorry to hear you were bullied, that is a terrible thing. Nerds rock.
I think the health center would be a good idea, I hear they help for alot of people. Talking to someone in person can be really nice and comforting.
I'm afraid I can't be of much more help, and I don't take my own advice, but if you want you are absolutely welcome to chat on my wall. I don't mind reading text walls, if just having someone listen helps. You seem like an interesting person to me. I hope you feel better, I'm sure you could make the world a whole lot better. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

P.S. This is why I'm a Playstation person. I kid, I kid.

 

Seriously? Film and television and drama and art has saved many a life! I love Tim Burton stuff, for a common example. That shit can make people smile, make their day, save their life.
In everyday life, I'm sure there are people who really really care about you. People don't always make that clear, but there's alot of love out there. Just like how your friend doesn't know how much you care about him, but you do. Someone does care that much about him.

---------- Post added 19th Mar 2014 at 10:35 PM ----------

I'm an aspiring actor myself. ^_^

 

Hi. In regards to the last bit, why don't you see an LGBT friendly therapist? You could find it in the form of a private practice or on a university campus. I went with the first option and it has helped me out so much. Good luck.

 

I'm sure they are totally used to that, it's so common to feel that way, you aren't alone.
Could you call in and ask about them or something? <3
I guess you could say I have social anxiety, I get being scared to contact places too.
Good luck love.