Hey all! I need some quick advice. I'm thinking about coming out to just one of my friends...I know its not a lot but she's the one I feel I can trust. She is my closest friend right now and I know she will accept me. -She keeps saying atleast come out as Bi already...when in truth I'm not...I'm a lesbian, she just doesn't know that. (I've had a few slips around her) I was thinking if she says it again the "come out as bi already will ya?" I'll just say something like how many times do I have to tell you I'm not bi! Pause..I'm a lesbian. ya know? I mean it would be beyond great. I would be really happy and I think things would become better for me. But the thing is I'm completely terrified that she will let it slip out to our other friends...because she wouldn't think anything of it. Then it will get around that way as well...it also doesn't help that her step dad works with my dad. But then again...part of me trusts her. I don't know. And another part of me is like WHY should I have to come out? Straight people don't have to so why should I? Seriously...its just love. You know? Why is it much different two people in love. Why should gender matter? (oi sorry about the last paragraph) But any who I would love your thoughts and opinions! Lily
I'm in the same situation right now. I have a very close friend that acts so open minded about everything. I have not told any of my friends or family. Quite honestly no one knows about my sexuality yet. I am so scared. But I do believe that we will get support from them. I am concerned that by hiding this lifestyle we will only hurt ourselves. If your friend is a true friend, they will be there for you and maybe provide you with some more advice later on down the road. What could we have to loose? Its bad enough hiding our true identities.
I think you should, she already suspects anyway. I think it would be great to have that support. I don't know why we have to come out it's stupid and it sucks that people automatically assume you're straight until you say otherwise but that's how the world works, maybe someday it will be different. Good luck! Sam
You're right, you shouldn't have to, but everyone assumes you're straight. That's the necessity of coming out, so that people know that you're interested in case they are.
Sub's right. The default is "straight", so people are going to assume that unless told otherwise. Do you HAVE to tell? No. But it'll stop people asking if you think that guy is cute, or why don't you have a boyfriend, and a dozen other questions. I'd go ahead and tell her. Don't get overly paranoid when you do, though. Don't give her the "Nobody must know!" routine. Just say, "I'm still coming to grips with this, and I REALLY would rather not have anybody else know right now. And when I'm ready to tell them, I'd like to be the one that lets them know. OK?" Lex
I agree with the above posts. If you feel that you can trust her let her know. Let her know that you are still trying to come to terms with it yourself and that you want to be the one that informs others about it on your own terms. I'm sure she will understand it and won't say anything. Good Luck! Keep us updated.
I think that if you trust her and she'll accept you and you are comfortable with her knowing that you should come out to her. The support is always nice. And just mention that you'd like to be the one tell people. Hope this helps :icon_bigg
Thanks guys! Really! It helps. I was going to tell her but she was in a horrible mood. So I shall try again when she's in a better mood and I'm not moving. I will keep you posted don't worry....ITS big NEWS...for me anyway... I suppose it is default. I'm just being complicated I suppose. But it is one good question though
