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Out of the Closet but Having Second Thoughts...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BurytheCastle, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. BurytheCastle

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Tonight, I came out to my mom much earlier than planned. She took it very well. She said that she loves me and wants to support me no matter what, and that there's nothing wrong with me. She tried to reassure me that it's okay to be gay, but I'm not completely sure I believe SHE really believes that. (She probably does - my mom has several close friends who are gay men and doesn't act hateful toward gay people at all.)

    She thought I was straight (I gave her evidence in the past to believe this, it wasn't just her assuming). I wanted to stop lying to her. She's my best friend. I thought I would feel relieved, but I just feel even more scared than I was before. I'm not sure I should have told her.

    I think maybe my problem is that I have felt like if she didn't accept it, that I shouldn't accept myself, and I'm not sure exactly how accepting she's really going to be. I feel like I've blown my relationship with her (even though she says that I haven't).

    It's almost definitely just my anxiety disorder talking, but knowing that doesn't actually help. Do you think I did the right thing by being honest with the most important person in my life?
     
    #1 BurytheCastle, Mar 21, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2014
  2. rainmustfall

    rainmustfall Guest

    I think that it will probably help you a lot to have someone you can openly confide in that you trust. That can make a big difference in becoming more comfortable with being open about it. Living in hiding is hard, and even having one person who knows can sometimes make a big difference. If she is being supportive then I think that is actually a pretty good thing. Just remember being comfortable takes time.
     
  3. BurytheCastle

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    Thank you so much. That helps. (*hug*)
     
  4. Clay

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    You did great, that's great news. You mum sounds fantastic.

    It's normal to feel a bit weird after you come out. You definately did the right thing, and don't worry you'll feel less weird after a while.
     
  5. BurytheCastle

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    Ah, thanks! :slight_smile: