I joined here to get advice from others who would understand. I don't really have any friends, I was the quiet kid who sat in the back of the class and read the whole time. I'm not very good at keeping friends in real life, I just find it so much easier to communicate with people on the internet. My problem is I really want to come out to my family (mother and 3 brothers) but I'm just a nervous/anxious wreck about it. I had one girlfriend in high school who was openly gay, even brought her home but told my family she was a 'friend working on a school project'. She moved away and the long distance thing didn't work. I'm still hung up over her. She was my one and only girlfriend, but after her, I knew I had discovered a part of myself that had just been hidden away before. Anyways, I try to leave hints for my family. My mom was talking the other day about how someday I'd find a man that I could marry and be happy with, and I told her that it wouldn't make me happy. I also openly support gay rights in any conversations that come up. I've done what I call 'The Ellen Test' on my mom, which is basically casually mentioning Ellen DeGeneres in conversations to see what she thinks of her. All responses have been positive, but I'm still freaking out. I just feel like it would be so much easier to come out if I had some friends I could tell first so I had some support. I've even thought about therapy just so I could tell someone. I even have a letter written out that I'm just too scared to give to my mom. So any advice/support anyone could give would be appreciated. I found this site from a Kaelyn and Lucy youtube video and after spending a few hours reading others stories, I'm so glad I did.
"Hugs!!".. Nice to meet you.. You seem like such a lovely person which is very insightful.. Your cat picture also earns you like 385395 bonus points with me!! Lols, just take a deep breath.. You can do this!! This sounds cliche but listen to your heart, mate!! <3
It sounds like you have done the 'ground work' with your Mom and dropped quite a few hints and you've admitted that finding a guy to settle down with will not make you happy. If your Mom knows you well, the signs should be there now. Have you tried the same thing with your Brothers? Telling people in conversation can be very hard, so writing a carefully worded letter is, for many of us, a good alternative. Handing the letter over (or leaving it to be found) is the hard part, but don't worry too much if you back out a few times. It's bound to happen. The point will come when you'll feel the fear and do it anyway. There are far worse things to admit to. Being Lesbian (Gay, Bi, Trans..) will not define the path of your entire life - it is but one aspect of your personality. Most reasonable people will understand this. Admitting to same sex attraction is not a bad or terrible thing. Let us know how it goes.
Thank you DeLuna, that means a lot I'm such an anxious mess of a person that I was nervous to even come back and read the responses >.> And thank you also Linco, it's always good to be reminded that there is nothing wrong with who I like, but it's hard when you were raised a certain way...my father is very homophobic and since I last posted I've brought up a few things like marriage equality in England around him and he gets so angry. I don't understand why he's so hateful..but knowing I'll have my mom's support helps. I can do this. I'll definitely keep updating and reading, it's nice to have a safe place online.
The world is changing very quickly and more and more people are daring to come out. Across the western world governments are taking a hammer to discriminatory laws against LGBT people and intolerant attitudes will eventually crumble too. It's going to take a certain amount of bravery on the part of this generation to push against the last vestiges of intolerance, but together, we'll make it. You'll play your part too, I know you will. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts here. We all want the same thing.
