Just wondering when you guys felt proud of your sexuality and stopped hating it.At the moment just tired of fighting.But do not feel any better.
Understand there is a difference between "pride" as in, 'positive feelings associated with accomplishment' and pride in the sense of 'gay pride'. Chances are you will never feel 'proud' of your sexuality, and honestly you probably shouldn't. I mean it's not like you DID anything. There is no accomplishment involved in BEING gay. You can be proud of yourself for accepting things and proud of yourself for coming out, you can even be proud of yourself for being openly gay in a world that doesn't like you, but you will struggle to feel 'proud' that you are gay. There are lots of little things you can be proud of, but don't try and search for something you won't find.
I stopped hating my sexuality the moment I came out to my aunt, because she made me feel comfortable about it. But at times it still seems easier to me to be straight and that can get frustrating. But then again, I am rarely (read: never) proud of myself, so that might just be a problem I have myself.
Ellia-Hi.Understand the difference.Yeah,I just meant more me viewing it as less of an issue.I suppose I try to rush things too much.Khan-makes sense.Thing is I have come out to before people.And still hated it despite acceptance by those I came out to.I think its my past making a comeback its like my sexuality reminds me of certain experiences if I acknowledge it.Best not overthink though. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 07:11 PM ---------- aargh sorry about sentence structure just cant chill.Cant sleep either. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 07:24 PM ---------- Hi.Cant be controlled this way.I'll get to feel better about things.I suppose it takes time.
I wouldn't exactly call it pride per say, perhaps just being happy and comfortable. When it doesn't bother you that you're gay, nor does it bother you that other people know, then it's a sort of "pride" I guess.
Pluvia-that is what I meant.I have to learn to be more specific though so thanx for that.It seems to bother me more than others atm(there are of course always exceptions).I am feeling a bit better now though.I suppose I will get used to it and comfortable with it more and more as time goes by.
It took me about 2 years to be fully comfortable with it I guess. And my surroundings where supportive. The difference is I didn't have to hide it anymore, so eventually you just get used to being out.
I have been in and out as bi and gay since 17...Certain things that happened in my life probably made it harder to accept. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 08:40 PM ---------- I sound freaking pathetic I suppose...but I guess it does not help to view myself that way.This dude once asked me ''so are you a top/bottom''?Just out of the blue.I replied that I am not into that type of thing and then was written off as ''straight but seeking attention''.Prob is emotionally I just am more attracted to men.And yes,I do get turned on by the idea of handjobs/blowjobs.I do not act in a particularly stereotypical manner.So most people have no clue what I am.They get confused.Which makes me attempt to convince myself that I am not gay...but in the end I am.I know that.I may not fit into any particular gay ''category'',but there is no freaking right/wrong way to be gay.There is no freaking gay ''box''.Feel a bit weird writing all of that,but feel strangely relieved to have it out in the open here. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 08:43 PM ---------- I suppose I might try going all the way someday if I find someone really special.Will attempt to remain open to the possibility.
Screw this.Most people are going to still end up hoping that I will end up with a woman.Even my mom.In the end I can not give any1 false hope though,least of all myself.There is not going to be a woman in my life.I just said it.Sure I can attempt to explain it away by saying ''but you have fallen in love with girls/women before''.But sexually it will never work out.Calling myself a biromantic homosexual just furthers the false hope.And it is basically just saying that I am on the lower end of the gay spectrum.Besides I have given this way too much thought for a single person.I do not mind if someone else is this way,so I should not mind that I am this way either.Gay/not gay we are all human at the end of the day. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 09:21 PM ---------- I would rather not be ''normal'' anyway.Life is not meant to be easy.And its a good thing it is that way.I am going to use this as an opportunity to grow.Being gay has taught me so much after all.Maybe I would have viewed the world differently if I was not,I do not know.It has taught be to accept people the way they are.It has taught me that ''normal'' is a subjective experience.It has taught me to ''go with the flow''.It has taught me that the ''norms'' of society are not necessarily healthy.I can go on and on.Why fight it?Why deny such a powerful teacher?I am not a better person because/in spite of my sexuality,that is not what I am getting at.I have just learnt the most powerful lesson through this experience,thats all: Accept the things you can not change,learn to embrace the ''problem'' so that it becomes the solution,and finally the most powerful lesson of all:the lesson of letting go.
I became proud of my sexuality when I came to regard it as a blessing. Being gay I think has allowed me to escape many ill-traits I have a high chance of acquiring due to my upbringing, such as bigotry and close-mindedness. For this I am happy and thankful, and view my sexuality as a sort of liberating force, as a great artistic and beautiful concept I could forever sit in the wonder of. That's why I'm proud, because it's a part of me that I didn't reject despite the screams and pressure to do so -- I've fought myself and society for this aspect, and I shall not shame the effort by keeping it in a dark place! (like a closet...)
Hi.You seem cool. ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 09:52 PM ---------- That is not the right word... ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 09:54 PM ---------- Interesting Noticed the Oscar Wilde quote Intrigued
[/COLOR]I would rather not be ''normal'' anyway.Life is not meant to be easy.And its a good thing it is that way.I am going to use this as an opportunity to grow.Being gay has taught me so much after all.Maybe I would have viewed the world differently if I was not,I do not know.It has taught be to accept people the way they are.It has taught me that ''normal'' is a subjective experience.It has taught me to ''go with the flow''.It has taught me that the ''norms'' of society are not necessarily healthy.I can go on and on.Why fight it?Why deny such a powerful teacher?I am not a better person because/in spite of my sexuality,that is not what I am getting at.I have just learnt the most powerful lesson through this experience,thats all: Accept the things you can not change,learn to embrace the ''problem'' so that it becomes the solution,and finally the most powerful lesson of all:the lesson of letting go.[/QUOTE] This...this is deep. I'm glad you can see the benefits of being gay, that it has taught you to accept people for being themselves.
For me, it was when I finally stepped off the coming out rollercoaster and gained the confidence to just tell people in the natural flow of conversation. I did the coming out thing with parents, sister and close friend, but now I don't "come out". I feel proud of myself for getting to the point where I no longer treat my sexulaity as a big enough deal to come out. Hope that makes sense (I'm not sure it's the same as pride in my sexuality though).
