Hi guys, so I am slowly coming out to more and more people as I have become comfortable with myself now. So far, all good and positive things (including my 29 year old aunt telling me her and I are gonna go to an lgbt club with her friends #bestauntever) Now I'm narrowing down on people in my friend circle I have yet to tell. And one in particular is a close friend of mine who also happens to be one of my ex-gfs. I know for a fact she's accepting and a huge ally, but for some reason my previous attempts at getting the idea across to her have... well crashed and burned (oops.) When she talks to me out getting a girfriend, I always try to use EXTREMELY gender neutral terms when talking about people I like. Like, I over do "they", "their", and "them" as well as remain silent when she asks me about which girls I like. I completely missed the opportunity yesterday to come out to her while discussing colleges. She made a comment on how my college has a 70-30 ratio and the odds were not in my favor, and for some reason I literally couldn't say anything. It was weird, seeing I usually never had a problem before with coming out... it as just weird to say the least. It gets aggravating when all I hear about is people practically idolizing me as the guy that's gonna have a perfect wife and stuff. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is what's a good way to casually push things into the direction of coming out without it literally being like a boy whose balls dropped five stories overnight (translation: without it escalating quickly and almost unexpectedly)? I'm a person who doesn't like to spontaneously bring up discussions like that ahaha... But because I plan on being out in college, I'd like to make sure my friend group knows before we part ways for college so then they don't casually meet my future boyfriend and go "what". Any and all advice is seriously appreciated, and thanks in advance. Love you guys!
If you're having issues bringing up the topic in conversation, maybe you could write her a letter? Unless you want to tell her in person. Maybe you're having issues because she's your ex? Maybe next time someone says you'll have the perfect wife, say something like "more like the perfect husband," or "she'd have to be a guy for that to work out;" something that gets the point across in a lighthearted manner. As for your friend, I'd say that the next time she asks you about girls, tell her about a guy. You want to be out to her, that seems like a good way to go about it. Sometimes joking about things can be a good way to start the conversation too.
