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Coming out to make you question again

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by UnknownNerd, Mar 24, 2014.

  1. UnknownNerd

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    I felt 100% positive about being gay. I had came out and told a couple of friends and/or teammates. I didn't tell many people. Fewer than 10.

    After coming out, I went from being 100% positive to questioning again. Is this normal? Has it happened to anyone else before? Any advice on what to do?

    Edit: I still feel for guys. I started questioning women again.
     
  2. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    When I first told myself this was who I am, I felt the exact same way. It was like I was too sure that it felt like I wasn't sure at all. I'm 1000% sure I'm bisexual, but I still doubt myself. It's hard to be sure of yourself when you are bisexual too because sometimes your preference fluctuates. I think it's a normal step in accepting it after a while.
     
  3. Gekko

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    That happened to me too. After I came out to some friends I started questioning myself again because I found a couple of female classmates attractive. I just had to put a little of thought into the issue.
    I just had to realize that bi, gay straight, etc. are just labels, words used to describe your sexual orientation. None of those labels can describe my sexual orientation exactly as it is.

    If I wanted to describe it I would literally describe it like"attracted mostly to guys, and occasionally to some women specially if they have some typically masculine traits and interests" but that's to long so just I use gay.

    I don't use bi because my attraction to women is not as common or as intense as my attraction to men.

    So my advice would be to not let the labels define or limit your sexuality, they have to be an aid for describing it. Just settle with the label you find most appropriate for your own unique sexuality.
     
  4. spockbach

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    Yeah, I've totally had that. I think that part of it was due to other people telling me, "Oh, you're not gay. I can just tell. You're going through a phase."
     
  5. Neo1979

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    At your age your hormones are all messed up and all over the place lol. I would think it would be absolutely normal at your age to have the odd sexual or romantic attraction to a girl. But if the vast majority of your sexual attraction and emotional longing veers towards guys i think you could still be confident about being gay. To me being gay is a sexual PREFERENCE and is true 99% of the time; but there has been the odd random attraction to girls every now and then. But then i am pretty sure even most straight people have some form of same sex attraction at some point...its all normal.
     
  6. Dino14

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    I identify as a gay woman because I have an overwhelming preference for women, but occasionally I do find a man attractive. Sexuality can't be defined under headings, so I wouldn't worry about it too much and go with the flow!
     
  7. thrnvlpidj

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    Being gay doesn't preclude other types of relationships.
     
  8. UnknownNerd

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    Thank you everyone for taking the time to try and help me. You guys made some great points here.

    I knew straight people at some points had same sex attractions. I never considered the reversal to be possible (gay people having opposite sex attractions at some points).

    Thank you two for the realization you brought me. Bi, gay straight, etc. are just labels to roughly describe our sexual orientation. It's not set in stone.

    That is what I plan to do. :slight_smile:
     
  9. BananaB

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    I've recently felt similar. I'm not out. In fact I'm still i the process of accepting it. When I first started to properly think about and sit down and realise that these weren't feelings that were going away I became so sure that I was gay. Now a few weeks have passed I'm doubting myself again. It's hard.