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Transgender

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Miles D, Jul 20, 2008.

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  1. Miles D

    Miles D
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    So, anyone here FTM or genderqueer?


    I have come out to a few friends, but my appearance is pretty masculine and sometimes I pass as male. I never correct people's pronoun usage, so sometimes I get "she'd" but sometimes I also get "he'd". I am pre-T and pre- operations. Last week at work (I work at a summer camp for kids) a mom stayed at the camp with her daughter (a first grader) and her mom said "he" and "him" all week, and so did a little boy. But usually the kids ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" and then I have to go "I'm a girl" which feels totally gross and weird to have to say out loud. I am going to college in less than a month, and I hope to be a full-time male there. =]

    But I (soon will) go by Miles, so, nice to meet you people!
     
    #1 Miles D, Jul 20, 2008
  2. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    I'm genderqueer! i dress as male and have very short hair and evantually (soon as i'm out of highschool- its all girls) i want to get hormones and some other trans things.

    Welcome to EC!
     
    #2 xxAngelOnFirexx, Jul 20, 2008
  3. Davo

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    Welcome to EC Miles! It's good to hear that you're starting to get identified as male, hopefully it'll get better when you start college
     
    #3 Davo, Jul 21, 2008
  4. beckyg

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    Hey Miles! Welcome to EC!
     
    #4 beckyg, Jul 21, 2008
  5. panda

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    Hi Miles !! Welcome to EC.:welcome::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::smilewave
     
    #5 panda, Jul 21, 2008
  6. Wander

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    Glad to have such a wide range of people here. Hope you enjoy it.

    I myself don't have any intentions of changing my gender (identity), but because of my long hair and not-so-masculine face, I get mistaken for a girl on the occasion - usually by waiters in restaurants, it seems. It can really be frustrating sometimes, so I wish you the best of luck.
     
    #6 Wander, Jul 21, 2008
  7. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    Hey Miles! We hope EC helps you! :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Psychedelic Bookmarks, Jul 21, 2008
  8. Miles D

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    Hi all, thanks for the welcome!
    =]
     
    #8 Miles D, Jul 21, 2008
  9. silentsound

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    *intrudes late on the conversation* welcome miles! We're glad you're here!
     
    #9 silentsound, Jul 21, 2008
  10. ccdd

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    Hey, welcome to EC! I hope you like it here!

    I'm not transgender but I know people in real life who are - I hope it all goes well for you, and I hope to see you around!
     
    #10 ccdd, Jul 22, 2008
  11. Jim1454

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    Hi and welcome to EC from Jim in Toronto!

    I'm sure that must be awkward for you. I'm hoping things settle down for you once you start college.
     
    #11 Jim1454, Jul 22, 2008
  12. Asher4heart

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    uhm...actually to all of ya'll...I have that issue but different? I'm a senior in highschool and my mom...doesnt understand all of this so it is hard for me to find myself. I've had people at first glance call me a guy nd i liek it. I also hate identifying myself as a guy. I dress more liek a guy nd i'vehad the term 'butch' used about me before. I just...i don'tknow. I don't know what to do or think. I'm not in an accepting town...actually they would kill me if they knew i was even gay. My mom keeps telling me its not something to be taken lightly..nd she is really not making anything easy...she loves me and she is trying but she almost makes it worse. I had to take a lot of steriods when i was younger (medical reasons) and I think that raised my testosterone levels. Can someone help? Miles I'm sorry to take over your thread but you said that and it reminded me of me. I just don't even know what to do...what is it like having that opp.? I mean does it haunt you everywhere and everything..idk i seriously need some help. ne of you guys that could help id appriciate it so much. oh and what is gender queer? thanx again...im so cunfuzed...
     
    #12 Asher4heart, Jul 23, 2008
  13. Miles D

    Miles D
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    hey asher.
    some people feel comfortable being "butch" lesbians (or bisexual), but they identify as female. I thought I could do that for a while, but then realized I don't identify as female at all.
    but I haven't taken testosterone or had any surgery (I'm pre-transition) but I do know that when I think of myself (it's kind of hard to explain) but I see myself as male. I always have, since I was six and played house and was the husband, but it was just hard to but words to what I felt. i don't think surgery would haunt me-- what would haunt me is being born in the wrong body, not being in the right one.
    so basically YOU have to figure out what works for you-- to be a girl in boy's clothes, or a boy in boy's clothes.

    and genderqueer is sorta like being in-between genders. like a super butch lesbian or a flaming homo might consider themselves genderqueer if they have characteristics of both genders, but want to be refered to as their biological sex. most don't have operations or take steroids an stuff.

    from wikipedia: People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as being both male and female, as being neither male nor female, or as falling completely outside the gender binary. Some wish to have certain features of the opposite sex and not all characteristics; others want it all.
     
    #13 Miles D, Jul 23, 2008
  14. Asher4heart

    Asher4heart
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    thanx. I'm just really afraid that i'm going to regret it. Most of that comes from my mom breathing down my neck...I've always played male roles too. I'd play pretend with my cousins (all boys) nd we would always be guyz...both of us...when i look at myself...i just dont liek being a girl...idk its so weird nd i dont understand it..when ppl call me a guy. i actually take it as a compliment -___- so yeah...i look at guys and think...man i wish i could be liek that...but my mom...she keeps...telling me how wrong it is and how BIG of a decision it is and how it could screw up my life...Now i feel liek im conforming instead of being happy...
     
    #14 Asher4heart, Jul 23, 2008
  15. Miles D

    Miles D
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    though it is true that some effects of testosterone can't be reversed, which means you have to be absolutely sure, you can first live as male to try it out.
    like correcting people when they call you "she"... i haven't gotten to that point yet, but one I get to college (about 20 days) I will be living as male.

    what's that quote? never be bullied into silence... accept no one else's definition of yourself... something like that... that applies here =]
     
    #15 Miles D, Jul 23, 2008
  16. Asher4heart

    Asher4heart
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    yeah i knw...my mom thinks my problem is ive never been in a relationship. but even still...ive only ever looked at guys if they r gay nd i cant be with a girl who cant handle that im basically a guy. i usually intro myself as i guy online...er...well i explain it but i have to go so in depth cuz ppl nvr understand that i am practically a guy...i always play that role...i swear id be happier...im just...intimidated i guess.
     
    #16 Asher4heart, Jul 23, 2008
  17. Miles D

    Miles D
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    i think about that a lot, that ive never been with someone so how do i know? but then i think my mom and dad knew they were female & male before they were in a relationship, why is it any different than with me? that's basically my argument.
    and i totally am the same with guys-- with some exceptions, i am mostly attracted to gay guys. the only problem is that most straight girls don't want to date someone born female, and same with gay guys, so basically that narrows my dating options to bisexuals and REALLY open-minded gay guys/ straight girls.
     
    #17 Miles D, Jul 23, 2008
  18. Asher4heart

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    I KNO!!! i have the same deal. and straight girls...if i work em hard enough i can get em to give me a chance but thats only been on the net...im just liek bleeeh. nd then when u get left for the guy...im just liek...dude...dont even. i'm actually pretty heart broken. this girl who lives near me chose the guy she broke up with for me over me (hope that made sense) nd then this other girl...is liek idek...i wanted to spend new years with her nd shes liek its family time. nd we talking about getting seroius...nd i was liek hey will i ever be apart of ur family? nd she was liek idk. im just shell shocked...idk how u can say idk to sumthing like that...but yeah ive just redone the same broken relationships over and over...cuzno one understands 'me' or my 'need to be a guy'...it bites
     
    #18 Asher4heart, Jul 23, 2008
  19. Miles D

    Miles D
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    wow.... that's more action than i've even dreamed about... =]
    but i think most of that stems from my whole interaction with people is wrong, well, you know, as a female, not as how i feel inside, which is male.
    but also the fact that i'm super weird and crazy =D
    but i agree, it bites majorly.
     
    #19 Miles D, Jul 23, 2008
  20. Asher4heart

    Asher4heart
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    yeah i get it. and no everything im talking is from inet stuff. But i get it its because we r trapped in these bodies...but we want other ppl to take us for the males we feel we r...but most ppl rnt open minded enough
     
    #20 Asher4heart, Jul 23, 2008
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