Sorry if this was already asked but couldn't find a post... So I am 15 and in 10th grade. My school is an International School and people and teachers there are generally open minded and are strongly against bullying so I know that if word gets out at least I won't be beaten up, probably just teased a bit... So there is one friend that I want to come out to for now. He is a straight male and we are quite close and have known each other since 6th grade. He openly supported gay marriage in political conversations multiple times (he is very involved with politics and he is very left politically) and he is open minded and for equal rights for everyone. But at the same time he can almost contradict himself sometimes because he says freedom of speech should be "full" and there shouldn't be restrictions on what you can say and everyone is entitled and allowed to tell their opinions whether they are racists, homophobic or anything else. Although he sometimes says things such as "That's gay" or "Are you a faggot?" as "jokes", I feel quite safe coming out to him but the thing is I'm still scared and I really don't know how to bring it up in the conversation without making it look like a big announcement... So any ideas? On the bright side I guess you could say, there is this other straight male friend of mine who regularly makes homophobic jokes and calling people "faggot" especially me (well in my case he is right :lol: ). And basically I probably won't ever have to come out to him (even though I was not planning to do so any time soon) because today he called me a "faggot" again and I said "Why are you calling me a "faggot" and how am I one?" and he said "You never hang out with girls and flirt with them so you are probably gay". And I didn't deny it so I guess that is pretty much making it easier for me? I don't know in any case I wasn't planning on coming out to him anyway. I know realize that my post turned out longer than I wanted it to be. Sorry about that I hope it is still readable... I put the main part of my post in bold to make it easier. Thanks for any advice you guys might give me (&&&)
If your other "friend" tells homophobic jokes and calls you a faggot, I'd question your use of the word 'friend." In the end, you should come out only to the people you want to tell, and only when you feel ready. And you should be as matter-of-fact about it as you can. After all, when did a straight guy ever have to announce his sexuality? And as to how people react, well, they own their own feelings. They say nothing about the kind of person you are. Good luck, and let us know how it goes! (*hug*)
It's really good to hear you actually have someone who supports gay marriage and rights etc. I don't know anyone who does that or is gay. I feel it's the single biggest reason I haven't come out to date, and why I didn't even consider it until mid-last year. I'm now slowly trying to convince myself and figure out those who I can tell with least risk. Anyway, this isn't a thread about me is it! You're only 15, so don't rush unnecessarily into forcing it out. You have loads of time and there will be times where the opportunity comes up, believe me they do. From your descriptions, if I had to choose from the two people you described to possibly come out to, I'd probably say the first. That said it's obviously your decision and you know them far better than I. I say that because you may find the subject quite easier to bring up with him. If the guy makes another big statement in favour of gay marriage, discuss with him what he said if you can, this then brings the subject to light and you might possibly find an opportunity. Another main thing is trust though. Another reason I haven't come out is because I'm not 100% of whether my first person would spread it around. I know I will want to tell it to more than 1 person, but preferably on my own terms. If you want this too, make sure you're confident this person will keep it to themselves if requested. Especially at school (or at least mine when I was at school) it could spread like a wildfire. That said, sounds like you got a really good anti-bullying school which would help. Good luck & Let us know what you do/how it goes!
