Okay so let me just explain my situation, I am gay and I wanna know how to come out to my parents. So let me explain, I am in a religious household and I'm only out to my boyfriend, who I met over the internet. I've never been happier with anyone before. He makes me the happiest person in the world. But coming out makes my stomach lurch... My parents are both very religious and both hold very different views of the bible. They both believe very strongly that being gay is a sin. I know my dad would be more okay with it then my mom would, but I'm still scared to tell anyone. I'm scared because I don't know what my dad would do if I told him. I don't want him to send me to conversion therapy or a support group or a bible study. I don't want to change. I just want to be gay and open about it. What bothers me the most is that everyone in my family is very religious, and I don't know if my dad would tell my mom. My brother is an extreme bigot and hates gay people a lot. My brother also has a history of violence. I'm scared of what my brother would do also. I don't know if he would try to hurt me or not. Please give me any advice you can and the best way you think to come out to homophobic family? Thanks! :icon_bigg
Try to sit down and when you come out remind them you love god and that god loves all his children. God made the gays with purpose the way he did anyone else. Study the bible closely and find passages to read them.
I have heard and read so many horror stories about people coming out to parents while they are still living at home that I always urge great caution. If you are living with your parents think very carefully about coming out to them now. Unless you can be very sure that they will support and care for you after coming out, don't do it... yet. It's a big risk and the consequences could be awful. I don't like the idea of anyone hiding their true self, but I dislike the idea of shattered lives even less. Think about it and keep talking to us.
I pretty much agree with what Linco says...you have to use your best judgement...if there is a true risk that they would hurt you or throw you on the streets then it is maybe a risk not worth taking..are you able to wait until you have your own job and place before telling them? What benefits would telling them now have if any at all???
I'll be short man, cause I know what's going on your mind and I really wish I were on your skin, because you found someone to be with that is not forcing you to come out and accept you being a closeted (and happy) gay. Ask yourself, are you happy? Why would you slash your heart with so much hate came from the people that were suposed to love you in first place? I am not saying you shouldn't love them back, but try to understand that they don't deserve to know you're gay, not now at least. Grow old, sir. Let your family evolve mentally as well. When they are ready, make your move, but be sure you are fully independent, make sure you can leave them behind for some time if it is needed.
Hello tribulations & welcome to EC Firsty, I really truly feel gutted for you about the way your family feels towards homophobic people. I can't think of many worse things to be up against when you really want to come out. You don't display your age on your profile, but like everyone above me has said, please take very good care especially if you're under 18 and plan on coming out very soon. Weigh up the positives and negatives, although at this time I feel you will find there's more negatives about it. This isn't bad because there's time. You really don't need to rush into coming out unless they happened to find out about your boyfriend. What concerns me most is that often you'll hear that although much of a family might be completely homophobic, there often can be that one sibling or relative who is much more accepting and completely supportive. My worry is it seems to be your whole household would not be very accepting.. (&&&) Do you have any uncles, aunties, grandparents or cousins etc. that you could tell who would be accepting? It might be something worth considering because although friends/people who advice can judge based on what you tell them, people in the family tree will always know them better than people who aren't related. They might be able to help on from then onward. Please let us know what you decide, but I would certainly at least consider not rush into this one.
