Since I've finally come out I've felt a lot better about who I am. Everyone knows yet I've managed to keep the respect of everyone around me. Including some of the more sketchy people at my school who I thought I would have gotten teased by until no end. Yet after I came out there was a moment of some people avoiding me but within a week it subsided and I have yet to have been tormented. While I should be happy about this something just doesn't feel right. All of the gay friends that I found through the grapevine from one gay friend to another I found out that all of them have been ridiculed by everyone they used to call friends. Everyone I talked to had stories about how when they came out they lost every one how they are constantly made fun of by straight guys. I feel very strange. I don't understand why I never faced this. I consider myself lucky but I still wonder why some of the people who show me respect ridicule other gay people. I am the only gay person that I know of at my school that actually came out on my own everyone else was outed by someone they knew. I feel a little like I don't belong when I am around gay people. It almost seems like some of them despise me because of how lucky I was to dodge the bullet that they all seem to have been hit by. I just don't understand what it was that made my situation different. While my friends were different from the others, I still had the people who I have seen teasing and out casting people because of there sexuality look at me and welcome me with open arms. It just makes absolutely no sense. :bang:
Maybe they just like you better than the other guys? Are you straight acting? A lot of times straight guys go for the jugular on the femme guys but not so much on the straight seeming one's. This is one of those things where you don't ask questions and you just thank the man upstairs (if you're religious) and go with it.
Anyone who went through the crap of homophobia wouldn't wish it on their worst enemy. They might feel you were quite lucky, and perhaps somewhat jealous, but I really doubt that they hate you for it, or feel that "you're not really gay until the trial by fire". Just be happy you missed it, and keep a positive outlook. Lex
Well I guess that would make some sense since I am a very straight acting guy (or at least that's what I have been told). But the thing is so were many of the gay people I know. Yet they all still faced it.
You know, sometimes the world just doesn't make sense and seems to be unfair. It is sad that some of us have great experiences while for others it is a struggle and things don't go they way they wanted them to go. I do wish that all of us could have great coming out experiences and find acceptance among our friends, and family and not having to worry about what others might or will think and whether their parents will accept them. But this is obviously not the case. Your friends show you respect because they know you and obviously don't want to lose your friendship. They don't know the other gay person or people, and hence don't see a problem with ridiculing them. It seems that your friends (or people that you know) have double standards, which I find problematic. But this is where you come in. Knowing that your friends or people that you know have accepted you for who you are, you can use that to 'educate' them about you and others. You belong among/around gay people. If you feel that some despise you (but I'm sure that most of them don't) maybe try understand their situation and from where they are coming from. Sometimes, it is good just to listen and let them do the talking. Although you had good experiences, you can still help them by being there for them and help them to get through their difficult times. This will not only allow you to learn something about them, but also something about yourself.
Well, I know this may not be the.... ugh, best advice, but being happy with yourself and with the experience is not enough. You know the gun is there, just waiting for someone to fire. So my advice and only advice is to prepare for this bullet, if it is ever shot. Yes, it sounds pessimist, but prepare for the worst but hope the best is exactly what you should do. Your friends now may not be as cruel or backstabbing as other people's friends, but you still gotta go to college, or at your workplace even, or if you move. Many many stuff may happen. And let me repeat: this is not to bring you down or anything. Just feel happy and proud you haven't lived it, but not "yet". And you will be ready to hnadle this stuff when you have a strong self-confidence and therefore, lots of love towards yourself. Oh, and we care about you -Jean.
Just because you recently came out doesn't mean you're a different person. You are still you, and you decided to share an interesting trait about yourself. That's how I'd see it. Wow, off topic. Perhaps they genuinely liked you, but never really liked the others. But what I don't understand is why they'd treat them different. Maybe its denial! >.>
I ahve had nothing but good grace in coming out. To be honest i wish i could be presented with more homophobics, then i know what its like. Being some how teased is inevitable in my eyes. But while it lasts, enjoy it. Perhaps you don't let you sexuality rule your choices and being gay is only a small part of you. Whereas a lot of gay people think it is them on the whole. Enjoy the good feedback while you can. Henson
