Do you think one of the most difficult concepts people have understanding when someone comes out to them, is that nothing has actually changed about that person and they are still exactly the same person they were five minuets before the conversation. The only difference is they have gained some new information about the out person. When I came out as bisexual to my mother, I felt an almost compulsive need to explain this to her, even though she was very accepting and understanding. (*hug*) I was worried I would be perceived differently which is not something I wanted. In fact this is probably the biggest hurdle I had in coming out. Not people's acceptance of different orientations, but more that I would be treated differently. But in the end I'm still just me and by personality and behaviour hasn't changed. What are your experiences and thoughts on this?
I don't think my friends' perceptions of me have changed that much. They still treat me the same as they did before I was out to them, save for the occasional joke about going after guys or something like that (all in good fun, never anything derogatory), which is okay since they know and they mean well.
I don't think anyone's perceptions of me have changed much. If someone I knew in person came out, I might alter my perception of them to match how they wish to be perceived.
Well, since I came out only to something like five friends, I'm not really prepared on the matter, but here's what I think. My friend's perception of me didn't change after they discovered I'm gay; in fact, they accepted me without any problems, and to them I'm still the same person I was before. Still, I think that some people's perception of us changes after we come out if these people don't really know much of homosexuality. In fact, ignorance about the matter could cause them to think that we're different than before just because they discovered our true sexuality. This could obviously be only a temporary status, and they could come to understand that you didn't change a bit and are still the same person as before, but for some people it never happens, maybe because they're too enveloped in their own convictions.
From my experience, nothing has changed between me and people I have come out to. Two of them I came out to by accident, and they responded by saying they had suspicions... The rest simply responded with either a hug or weren't really surprised. It really depends on the person that one comes out to, though. If a person considers sexual orientation an incredibly big deal and believes it defines a person, perceptions will inevitably change. On the flip side, if one considers orientation just a part of a person's whole, then that's where I think perceptions don't change.
I don't think anyone's perception of me has changed. Maybe my parents, but I know they still love me regardless. I've only 2 friends that I know in person (the rest are online friends), and they haven't treated me any different. If anything, I think they respect me more now for me having disclosed something like that to them.
People I came out to changed their perception of me, for sure. They, for example, do no more believe that I am asexual and realise that I now and then check up a man. Also their behaviour towards me has slightly changed. E.g. they skip the occasional gay joke. So, yeah, all in all, they perceive me as a slightly different person, and they treat me differently. But none of these changes were negative for me, it's actually the opposite!
With me, telling my family, no one has treated me differently. But then again I'm not that close to my family. With my friends, they also have not treated me any different. They accept me for me. I think the only people who really have issues with it all, is those that are closed minded or religious. They seem to have this concept that we that are gay, bi, or the such, are just confused or abused. I've never personally been confused, I just never knew how to go about having a relationship with another female, I was abused, but I don't think that made me attracted to other woman. I've learned that the best way to be happy in life, is to live it for yourself, not for others. I did that for 30 years, always doing what I thought was what my family wanted me to do, in doing that I was denying myself my own happiness. So once you start realizing that you are the only one that can make yourself happy, and by doing that, living the life you want to live, not what others expect you to be doing. Never regret, keep your head high, and be proud of who you are. Your heart chooses who you love, not others.
I think something changed after coming out to some people. But in the positive way. I told them someting bout myself and confirmed that I trust them. We are more close now. My best friend told me some time after coming out to her that I expanded her horizon. That was kinda funny
This has been a concern of mine in coming out. I don't think my family will treat me any differently, I worry about some friends but on the whole the issue doesn't lie there but with employers strangely. Perhaps as I'm new (I've only recently began to start accepting that this is who I am) I'm a little naive and keep telling myself that it's 2014 and people are beyond that...
My daughter is only out to myself, her father, her grandmother (my mother), and her two closest friends. So far no one's perceptions of her have changed, BUT and it's a big BUT my husbands family would definitely lose their minds over it. Hubby's aunt blew a gasket and said "she is not the person I thought she was" when the kiddo started dressing goth. LOL Yeah, I think she would/will have a major perception change if/when she is ever told (told her to piss off after her snit fit over the kid's clothes and makeup - don't need people like that around thank you very much!) I really think it depends on the person. Some people just want everyone around them to conform to their way of life, fit their expectations, and bow to their wishes.
When I come out to a few friends thier perception of me didn't change. They already called me a butch lesbian but as a joke now if they say it its even funnier as none of my other mates know. All the people I have told are extremely excepting and they haven't change the way they act around me.
