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I think I might have an obsession.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Helen, Jul 21, 2008.

  1. Helen

    Helen Guest

    I'm currently congratulating myself for managing to find out who my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend is, on the weebls-stuff forums. And I've just found myself looking through all her posts, seeing if there's any mention of, y'know, *them* >.<

    I am technically 'over' my ex, and certainly wouldn't take him back, but...I dunno, I just can't seem to be satisfied unless I find out more about who he's with. I think I'm turning into a stalker and I have no idea how to stop myself from becoming overwhelmed with the desire to just..spy on them, basically. Eventually I'm going to get found out (my ex would definitely be able to guess it's me judging by my weebls-stuff user name, because the user names of people who've most recently viewed someone's profile are displayed:confused:), and I'll have some explaining to do.

    I don't even know why I do it, if I'm supposed to be over this guy. I did the same with one of his previous girlfriends, who was the first after me. I know there was another one after that (also called Helen :bang:slight_smile: but I was so angry with him about another matter (won't go into that...) I didn't care. Now this one, who he's been with the longest and the most successfully so far, I can't seem to be able to stop trying to find out about her.

    Am I going insane? :tears:
     
  2. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    No, you're not insane. And IMO, No, you're not over this guy.
    Have you managed to find another stable relationship after him? If not, uh, you may be already done with this guy, but you're sort-of jealous that he managed to find a relationship before you.
    My advice? Try to focus on what you want to do with yourself other than what you would want him not to do.
     
  3. Helen

    Helen Guest

    Well...no. :frowning2: I haven't even come close to finding another relationship since him. He was my first as well, which makes it very hard for me to forget him. This is probably the third time I've posted about something related to him on this site, I just keep having problems >.<

    I need to stop, anyway. I looked at my own weebls-stuff profile for the first time in ages, and HE'S FOUND ME.:icon_redf

    On the bright side though, I know that he hasn't had access to a computer for ages, so he must've found me quite a while ago. I only found his girlfriend today, so he won't have seen that...
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

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    No, you're certainly not over him. :slight_smile:

    It's not easy to simply "stop obsessing". It leaves a void. So fill it. Get interested in something else. What? Anything. Pick up a hobby. Start exercising. Join a group. Go volunteer. Anything that focuses your attention somewhere besides "that guy".

    Lex
     
  5. Helen

    Helen Guest

    Thank you very much, Lex and Quitex ^_^

    A mutual friend of ours has let my ex know that I'm less than happy with him, and apparently there was a very long silence after our friend said that, so I reckon he'll have given up on me too.

    I've decided to get started on all my summer homework; I have LOADS, which will keep my mind off other things quite a bit. I'm also planning to start learning yoga, I've been very uptight lately, due to the above reasons ^_^

    I talked to another mutual friend of ours, and he told me that I was 'an independent young woman, and that it takes a lot to get like that, but I'm getting to be quite good at it.' Which has boosted my self confidence several kilometres :slight_smile:

    I can't let him make me miserable simply by existing, I shan't give him the satisfaction ^_^

    Thanks again!
     
  6. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    Aww, Helen, it sounds like you're having difficulty (*hugs*) IMHO, you're not over him. But that can change! You just have to be strong. Good luck with your homework and yoga, they will help a lot. I've started yoga recently too, we must be trend-setters :grin: good luck!!
     
  7. silentsound

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    Aw, it sounds like you aren't quite over him just yet. My best advice would be to try to distract yourself, which it sounds like you are doing. Good luck with the yoga!