Hi I've been bi my whole life I just acknowledged to myself I was this past January. I will move out in September to marry my fiance.I have come out to a few friends some probably don't remember, or didn't seem to care or even acknowledge it expect for one good gf of mine. I want to come out to everyone but I live with abusive, controlling parents who are so controlling that they wont let me work or even teach me how to drive. My fiance works but is working on getting money saved up for the wedding and get our apartment. I hate I have to let him shoulder all the burden of taking care of us but I have no choice. My friends take me out at times to spend time with them because alot of them feel bad about my situation. My fiance lives 1 hr away from me and doesnt have a good way to get around either. This wedding stress of planning it and the lack of other jobs he doesnt have yet is putting a strain on our relationship.. I stay at home alot and am constantly reminded of I am nothing and that my "fiance" is a loser like me. We are both Christians but his sister is Bi and his best friend is Bi . I wish he had never help me acknowledge it because I've had Clinical Depression, PTSD, and Bipolar Disorder my whole life..The PTSD was caused when I was young because I was very very sick as a little girl and I have a phobia about hospitals, drs and meds..then the rest of my PTSD was caused by the physical,mental,verbal and emotional abuse my parents have given me my whole life. Plus Ive dated alot of men to save me from them. My fiance was one of the good guys..Plus I was assaulted fr the ages of 19- 22 the one who assaulted me the most was my ex fiance who is a psycho and still wants to be with me. He assaulted me 54 times which has also made my PTSD much worst...2 other guy assaulted me before them but it was only a couple of times.I want to work so badly to get out of my parents abusive home and stop feeling like I'm nothing. I've been in therapy for 1 yr and I like my therapist but she really doesnt give great advice. Sorry y'all been holding in alot .. Thanks for listening:newcolor:
I am so sorry that you have such a horrible home life. It sounds like your fiance is being so sweet trying to take everything on himself. Since your parents will not let you work or teach you to drive you really are kind of stuck until you move out. The best thing you could do is try to make plans for September. If you know the area that you will be trying to get an apartment in then maybe start looking at the area and the job opportunities there for people without experience and would have access either by walking or public transportation. When the time is closer you could start putting in applications with a "available to start date" that is after you will be moved out. Also look into driving lessons. By making plans you will be doing constructive things to help you and your finance for when you are married and living together. Couple other possible options. Since you are in abusive situation you could try getting into a shelter and that would allow you to get a job and start helping to save for the wedding and apartment. If not the shelter option then maybe move in with a friend until the wedding? Getting out and getting a job sounds like it would be a good thing. Whatever you do I hope you find safety and happiness.
thank you so much unfortunately most of my friends still live with their parents so its out of the question. But I plan to work as soon as I am married to him. Im trying to sell cakes and desserts after taking a baking class with my mother but she is unwilling to take orders so I hope to do it as soon as I move out Your a doll! thank you
Just hang in there. I know it sounds and feels like a long time but September will be here before you know it. Make yourself a countdown calendar. When you are stressing it will help to show how time is moving and how few days you have left of putting up with your situation. I know that it might seem trivial but it can really help to think in terms of "only five months" or " - - - weeks" or even count it by days, whatever systems makes you more comfortable and confident. Make your moving out plans, thin your possessions, sell things that you don't need anymore (yard sale or check facebook for local online yard sale type listings or pawn shops are all good options.) Save up as much as you can. The thinning out of possessions with help make moving go more smoothly and your new apartment less crowded. If you are not telling your parents about moving out just say you want to thin out your room and save up for some new clothes or something that they would approve of your buying for yourself. Heck, you could even say you are prepping for holiday shopping by making money ahead of time. Whatever it takes to keep them out of your money if they ask what you are doing and why.
Thank you so much its so hard living here and I'm looking forward to moving out the sooner I get out the better so
