Hi guys, I basically just wanted to come on here to ask your advice about something. I am a keen trampolinist, and within our university club there is an ongoing joke that me and one of my close friends (also a female trampolinist in the club) are together. This doesn't bother us, and we just brush it off, but then one of my other friends in the club asked me if I was gay. My initial reaction was to just immediately say no, but said friend is out as bisexual, and when I got home I felt like I missed an opportunity to just tell her, rather than being scared all the time. It's hardly like she she is going to reject me, what with her being bi herself, and I know that the club as a whole won't have any issues, as we have had gay members in the past and not once has anybody ever been ridiculed or bullied about it. So basically, I want advice on whether you think I should tell her the truth. Currently I am out to five of my friends, and although I'm not ashamed, I'm just scared of the reaction that I might have. Thanks guys, much love.
It seems like your situation would make it easy enough to tell her the truth. Just remember you're not obligated to tell anybody if you dont want to. You have to be comfortable telling people, theres no sense in rushing it if you dont want to. If you do want to tell her, you could just say you were a little nervous about telling her at first, but you are in fact gay and only a few people know about it so far.
Yeah, I feel like everything would be fine if I told her. After she asked me she said (to me and rumoured girlfriend) "If you two are actually together then tell me, because that would be cute, and I'll stop saying that you are as a joke". I spoke to the rumoured girlfriend (She was the first person who I came out to, but she is straight) about it, and she said that I should tell her, and that we could just deal with the fact that everyone will think we are together.
I think you should tell her. Try and find an appropriate opportunity, and make sure you are definitely comfortable with her knowing. I think that it's better when people know, as you can then really be yourself around them, and don't always feel like you have a secret, gnawing away at you. (Believe me, I know what that feels like). Hope all goes well.
I had this problem a few weeks ago. My flatmate and myself were chatting about how I can have a wall up sometimes and that I don't open up often. It was a prime heart-to-heart moment for me to tell her that the reason I stay clammed up is because I'm terrified of the truth and telling her about me and how I'm feeling would involve coming out and I'm just not ready. I was kicking myself after but I realised that had it truly been the right moment, I would have done it.
Thanks! I'm just kind of fed up with hiding all the time. I'll let you know how it goes (If I'm actually brave enough to tell her!) ---------- Post added 29th Mar 2014 at 11:24 PM ---------- I'm naturally a very shy person, and I don't open up often either. Hence why it has taken me over a year and a half to only tell 5 people! But like you, I almost do feel like if I was supposed to tell her, then I would have at the time.
