Relationship/Sexual Advice

Do you feel like you're spending too much time together?!? I'd say it's natural to want to spend lots of time together. My bf and I have known each other for a year now, and have been 'a couple' for 8 months. We practically live together, so we spend a lot of time together, and love it. If you're concerned, or you think he might be concerned, the best course of action is to have an honest conversation with him.

If you're both enjoying it, there's absolutely NO PROBLEM with that, as fas as I'm concerned.

Sounds like you're doing the right stuff. You're probably trying to rush it though. You might spend a few times just rimming and fingering him. Don't even bother trying to penetrate him with anything 'else'. Let him get used to the sensation of just that - because it is a very odd sensation to say the least. You might need to graduate to two or three fingers to give him a sense of what your penis is going to feel like in there. Always use lots of lube.

Eventually, he'll be ready. Part of it is psychological as well. He needs to 'want' it! So it's not something you can rush into, and it shouldn't be a 'mechanical' experience - it needs to be worked into the fun!

Good luck. It can be REALLY amazing! :icon_bigg

 

>>>Ever since we got together we've been around each other alot, only time we're not around is when I'm at work. Is this a bad thing? Do you think if we are together all the time we will get sick of each other.

As long as neither of you have a problem with it right now, it's not a problem. The only worry would be that, if one of you DOES decide they need some more "alone time" later down the line, that the other will take it very personally. I'd say it might be a good idea to talk about it a bit. Agree to let things fall where they may, and keep each other informed on your feelings on the whole thing.

>>>If you are with a partner, how often do you see them?

I live with mine. I see him briefly in the morning, and then once he gets home. We have one day off together, and one day off separately. That works out well, I think. I can do the things I love to do that he has no interest in on my day off alone, and we can do things we like to do together on our day off together.

>>>And also we've given blowjobs every night to eachother (usually about 2 or 3) does anyone think this much sexual activity (i wouldn't really call it sex because its not penetation) is too much?

Well, call me a prude, but I consider a blow job sex. You're having too much sex if:

1. Your penis gets sore.
2. It's interfering with your life somehow - missing work or school.
3. You or your partner feels pressured into doing it even though you'd rather not.

None of those sound like they're happening, so you're fine. Again, keep your partner abreast as to your feelings sexually. If you feel like mixing things up, taking a break for a night or two, whatever - let him know.

>>>Tonight I tried to have anal sex with him but my cock is too big for his ass. I've tried a few things rimming, fingering and lubed up. But it still doesn't fit in there. Hes really tight and I was wondering is there a way to make it loosen up so I can get it in there?

Jim's got it. Condoms, lube, patience and time. Just have him relax, keep rimming, keep fingering, one at a time, then moving up to two. It might take quite some time, it might take a few nights, but eventually you'll get there. And enjoy the process.

Lex

 

That sounds like a bit much on an ongoing basis but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing initially. But after a week or two you might want to drop it down to every other day or something.

I think ideally if I had a regular partner every other day or every 3rd day would be good. I mean that's just an average... sometimes you'll see them for quite a few days in a row and then you or he might get really busy and not see each other for a week. But overall it's a very healthy thing for two people to have "alone time" away from each other to attend to their own friends and separate life things.

Gods no... have as much as you can without hurting yourselves or each other. The only point at which you're having "too much sex" (other than if it's causing you pain) is if it's interfering with your day-to-day activities (i.e. "Oh my gosh I bombed that test because I was too busy sucking X's cock to study for it.")

That's more something he's got to work on than you. It sounds like you are doing the right things in terms of rimming/fingering (and definitely lots of lube) but ultimately the guy "getting" has to be able to relax his anus. Some guys get quite relaxed there after they cum, so you might wanna try after that. Some also get looser after alcohol, just because alcohol tends to relax people. Other than that, he can try practicing with things like butt plugs and dildos.

That fact of the matter is that it's highly unlikely most people have dicks too big for someone's ass. That whole area is pretty elastic under the right conditions. Usually it's a matter of being able to relax and enjoy it. Hence foreplay, lube, and patience are all pretty important. Probably the best thing you can do is be patient/understanding and focus on making sure he's enjoying himself... if people are highly motivated, they tend to find ways to make things happen. But the more understanding he can tell you're being, the more likely he'll be able to allow it to happen. Just from your word choice, you might be a little more focused on you than on him. If you can shift that focus, it might really improve the results. Lots of people think being on top is about self-gratification but in reality being on top (in a good way) requires at least as much focus on what's going on for your partner as it does on how great a time you're having.

Has he had anal sex before? If it's his first time trying or he's relatively inexperienced, it's definitely going to be harder for him.

 

Nope... I'm sure that's true for some people but definitely not all. And getting fucked can be a lot less effort (can be, doesn't have to be) than giving head or doing the fucking. Hence the term "passive," which isn't always correct but does fit sometimes.

Well he won't bleed if there's no forcing but chances are until he gets over his fear more, you doing him isn't gonna work very well.