Welcome to EC! I hope you find it welcoming and helpful here! It would help if we had more information about you, such as what do you think your parents' general understanding of LGBT issues is? Are they homophobic? Do they believe that bisexuality exists? And have you ever discussed the issue with them in the past? And also importantly: how comfortable are you yourself with your own sexuality? The first thing I would say is that THERE IS NO RUSH. There is never a rush. You wait until you are ready. And if that is tomorrow, fine, and if it is in twenty years, that is also fine. You need to be sure of yourself first, as coming out can be emotionally difficult and if your parents are not supportive or are supportive but don't understand, then you will need a lot of personal strength. You also need to be able to answer the question "Are you sure" with confidence and truthfully. If you are dependent upon them financially (which from your age it looks like you are) and there is any possibility that coming out to them could put you in trouble financially (or indeed in any danger) then you have to think very carefully beforehand, and I would recommend against coming out to them just yet. But I don't know your circumstances so I can only at this moment give you generic advice. Apart from this I don't quite know what advice to give you yet - but post some more information and I'll be glad to help. Also look around at similar threads on the boards for information on how other people have come out, and to look for similar advice. Welcome
My parents are very into there religion: Christians. And they "HATE" homosexuality. (To a point that theyd kick me out of our house). I do believe bisexuality exists but they dont or any of it.
I'm sorry that your parents are so homophobic . Are they openly so? And have they ever said anything to make you sure, as you say, that they would throw you out? In such circumstances, and at your age, I would suggest not coming out to them just yet - however hard it feels to keep it from them. It is of course your decision, and if you do decide to come out to them, then there are materials on this site that can help with people who are homophobic for religious reasons. And sometimes, people do react differently when it's someone they love that comes out - people can be surprising. But then, it sounds like a very big risk, and I would think very very carefully first. I don't know what the law is in Texas, ie if they can actually by law kick you out, but they could definately withold college funds and make you miserable and mess up your future in similar ways, and the fact that the repercussions may be so big makes me think that you might be better off waiting until you are financially independent, or until you have slowly got round to getting them to think differently. I think that also, when parents are so homophobic, you have to be especially strong to stand up to them, so I would also make sure that you are sure in yourself too and could cope with rejection. I would think about it very carefully and seeing that you are dependent upon them, my instinct is to recommend you against coming out just yet - I believe it is legitimate not to come out until you are ready and for reasons of self-preservation. I know this isn't very helpful, but I don't have a lot of experience as regards very religious parents, but I do know that you should look out for yourself first, and worry about coming out later - although the choice is ultimately up to you. But there is no rush to come out - you have the rest of your life to do so - and it's important to remember that. It's more important that you get the timing right than that you come out.
Welcome to EC! The saying is "the truth will set you free", but in the case of extremely homophobic parents, that can be a bit too true. You don't want to end up getting kicked out. As cc stated, there's no definite time frame for coming out. You should do it when it's right for you, when it's most comfortable. I don't see any reason for you to rush into telling your folks just yet. Take some time, and grow more comfortable with the idea first. A lot of people have felt the need to withhold this information from their parents until they were living on their own, and you might fall into this category. If you ever need to talk some more, or if you have any questions, feel free to post here - we're quite used to being a support network. If you'd rather talk to somebody one-on-one, feel free to send a "Private Message" to me, or one of the other Advisors here on EC. Just click on my name to the left there (or one of the other advisor's names), and select "Send private message". Hope to see you around EC! Lex
Hi and welcome to EC! Glad you joined. I'm sorry to hear that your parents are homophobic. I agree with ccdd and Lex. There is no rush in telling your parents. Take your time with. You need to be comfortable with yourself and feel ready for it. Given that you are only 14 and fear how your parents might react including the possibility of being kicked out of the house, I do think it would good if you could wait until you are financially independent before you come out to them. As ccdd and Lex mentioned, sometimes it is better to wait. Take it one day at a time. Also, given that your parents are homophobic, I think it would be good if you built up a strong support network around you, which can consists of EC, friends, counselors, teachers, and others who will support you and be there for you. I'm not sure if you are out to some or all of your friends, but if not I would suggest to continue to come out to your friends and others until you feel that you have a strong support network which will become very important. Hope this helps! As Lex mentioned feel free to post or pm us if you have any questions. EC is here to help you.
I would just keep it to myself until I was old enough to support myself if I knew it would probably end up with me getting kicked out at the age of 14. Do you have any friends or family that could take you in?
