I now after 23 years old have completely accepted that I am gay. I have even garnered the courage to tell a few friends here and there. I thought when I told just a few people my life would suddenly get better but it's not. I still don't want to tell my family or co-workers just because even though they will ultimately support me they will make it too much of a big deal and I just don't think it should be. I even went to the village in my city the other week to read a book but at the end of the day I was just alone in a cafe. I am only going to be this young for so long and feel like I am missing out on great experiences yet I find myself trapped and unsatisfied in this dull life filled with secret desires to just go out and meet a guy to be in a relationship with.
I totally agree that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I think we are sometimes responsible for turning it into a big deal. Most people do the whole 'coming out' thing and it can end up feeling like an ordeal that must be repeated over and over again throughout our lives with all the same uncertainties every time. Personally, I don't come out to people anymore. I don't hide my sexuality, but I don't wait to find the right moment to tell people either. Life is too short. If I'm having a conversation with someone and it seems appropriate to mention that I'm gay, I do, but I don't sit people down for a talk and big revelation now. My sexuality is but one part of who I am.
Hi Dylan You know what, half the battle is already won by accepting your sexuality yourself, that by itself is a HUGE step forward so cudos to you!!! As for living a satisfied happy life, that my friend is something you and only you can set into motion. I know coming out to your family and friends is a huge mountain to climb, but there's no rush, you climb that mountain one step at a time until you reach the top so don't be too hard on yourself, you will reach the summit when you are ready for it. For now, let's look at that happiness factor that you are longing for, and if I read between the lines it sounds like you're tying that into having a relationship with someone. Here's the good news, you can have a relationship with someone without being out of the closet, trust me there are thousands of guys out there in exactly the same boat as you who are dying to have someone in their life but aren't nessasarily ready to come out of the closet to their parents and friends yet. There are many ways to meet a potential partner, there's dating web sites, apps and support groups, make use of them and start making friends, chances are you might just meet someone that catches your eye so go out and take that step. Be careful to sidestep those that are on the prowl and just looking for a quick hookup, unfortunately there's lots of them out there. That said there's also genuine guys just like you who are looking for the real deal. Life is what we make of it and you have all the potential to make yours abselutely fabulous!!!
I'm 22 and I know exactly how you feel. I want nothing more than to find someone but don't want to tell my family. You aren't the only one.
