Very recently, I've been coming to terms with a lot of things that I now realize were suppressed throughout the majority of my teenage years. Just a short time period ago, I began to wonder if I was gay. I'm finding more truth in the idea with each day's passing but am still somewhat unsure. I mean, I feel like there is no going back once I get there which is one of the factors I feel is keeping me in this limbo. I'm afraid that my entire life will seem like a lie to my friends and family. I'm afraid of being defined by society as gay. I'm afraid of losing the love and support of my family and friends. I've already explained my situation to several close friends. But its something that doesn't come up very often. I almost feel as if they try to ignore the situation. And I'm incredibly sorry if this post sounds like a bunch of self-pity bullshit. I'm normally a lot more optimistic and energetic. Tonight has just been an emotional roller coaster.
You shouldn't worry,I was depressed too,but when I told my parents a big rock fell of my chest.I'm not saying you should do it,especially if you are not sure yet.Ask yourself,it may be just a phase.Talk to your friends,listen to their opinion.Think about it...
I'm 99% sure I'm gay. Its just hard for me to admit it. I feel like I lied throughout high school to everyone. Damn this is going to be difficult. Basically, Im just trying to build up enough courage to actually admit it and make a choice.
I have troubles admitting it too.I feel like I acted all my life,but it's my life and I can't change it.Keep that in mind...
I know how you feel and I think that one of the things you notice when you finally accept that your gay is that your still the same person. Being gay is a trait of yours but it doesn't have to define you.
Don't be hard on yourself, everyone fears these things in the process of coming out, I know I did. The big problem for me was also the fact that I'd lied for so long, and I wasn't sure how to act around my friends after they knew. I suffered a lot because I couldn't talk to them about it. So my advice is to try and talk to your friends, it's what I should've done. You seem to have told a few friends, and they're still your friends so that's great. You should try to bring up the conversation and ask them for support, they might just not know how to talk to you about it, so the only way to fix that is for you to bring it up. You need to be secure in being you.
Hi there! I agree with the above. Don't be hard on yourself. There is no rush in in figuring it all out. Take your time with it. Self-acceptance will take some time. You will get there. The feelings and worries of what others might think or how they will react are normal. So are the feelings of having lied to your friends and family. They are a normal part of the process, but I wouldn't worry about it. The truth is that you have not lied to anyone as you are still trying to figure it out. I know it can be hard having the feeling that you are hiding something, but you need to figure it out first and feel comfortable and ready before taking the next steps. Remember that there are resources for support, including EC, that will help you to get through this. The important thing is, take your time. Don't rush into anything. Take baby steps as it were. People who love you and enjoy your company will accept you. If you haven't done so, I would encourage you to read the resources on coming out. You will find them in the Sticky thread in this forum. Over time you will have figured it out what it all means. Try to avoid labeling yourself at this stage. Remember that sexuality is fluid. It is possible that your sexuality and/or feelings will still change. Go with what feels right. I would follow Davo's suggestion of talking to your friends about your feelings. Talking with others will definitely help. Also, if you want to, you could try seeing a counselor who could also help you in trying to understand your sexuality better and give you feedback/support. Sometimes, when we hear ourselves taking about our worries we start to make better sense of them. Talking to a counselor might also enable you to explore a side of you that you don't know about and become a lot surer and more comfortable about yourself and help you in gaining self-acceptance. By coming out to your friends, you have already started to built up a support network, which is important. A support network will be able to give you the support that you need. I would encourage you to continue to build your support network, which can include, friends, counselors, teachers, EC, and others who you think could be supportive, before coming out to your family. But please keep in mind, take your time in figuring it all out as well as with coming out to others. There is no rush. If you need to talk or just want to vent feel free to post or pm me (or any of the other advisors) anytime. Hope this helps!
