...it felt weird. In the past, coming out has given me a sense of relief. So far I've been met with nothing but support, and it's felt like a little of the weight has been lifted off my shoulders each time I told someone. The friend I told the other day is one I've been meaning to tell for a while now. I trust her well enough, more than most people. And she was accepting, but for some reason I didn't feel relieved after I told her. I felt kind of anxious actually. My anxiety's been high for a little while now, but I thought coming out to someone new might help a little like it has in the past, not make it worse.
Dear friend It could just be that you are feeling this way because you thought it would and it didn't. That's like thinking you got an A on a test and find out you bombed it. The best thing to do is let it out. You told her and she was fine you should except it and move on. If you wish for me to answer anything simply ask. Stay frosty -Dex
I guess my expectations were higher than i realised. Not necessarily involving my friend, I knew she would be accepting, and to be honest it went well. I think my expectations for my own feelings - if i do A, i'll feel B - were what I had held too high. Maybe it's just not enough to come out here and there anymore. A few people knowing here and there isn't enough to aleviate the anxiety of being in the closet to most people.
This sure sounds like a difficult situation. At least your friend reacted positive. You might try finding a different way to treat your anxiety. For instance you could try certain breath techniques or sports or something else that is fun and distracts you. This way the risk of not getting your expectations met might get lower.
