Coming out

Im 28 and I've only just in the last year reialzed I'm gay so i wouldn't worry about it my family are pretty open mined about gay people and I'm not fully out to them yet my mum knows my two sisters that's it and i was so scared to tell them but they were fine and it's no else business only the people you tell and care about need to know.

 

Hi blondie1 and welcome to EC.

I came out when I was 27, while I knew I was gay for a long, long time it wasn't until then that I truly accepted myself. I had a group of friends who had their preconceived notions about me and who I was. Same went with my family. I didn't know what to do, I reached the point in my life that I felt I had to come out and had no Idea where to start. While I know some people will say 'you shouldn't have to come out', I just don't think that is always practical.

I don't know if you have access to one but I sought out a therapist, one who had a area of focus on LBGTQ issues. It helped more then you could imagine. It was the very first thing I told her when I saw her. She really helped me sort thru what was holding me back and how to move forth. I went to her on the first time for Halloween last year and as of today I am now out to most people that I care about. The only ones are my extended family, which is the hellfire and brimstone Catholics. I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it. While I can't say I'm at a point where I wouldn't care if anyone found out - I'm getting pretty close.

So anyways after all that rambling my suggestions to you are;

• Find someone to be your rock - someone you can confide in and that you trust.
• It is difficult, especially the first time. I was drunk when I did it. While I don't recommend this - It worked for me.
• It's okay to be afraid, fear of the unknown is natural.
• You WILL feel so much better when the process is nearing completion.

I wish you all the best :icon_bigg

Cheers

 

You may feel like it's taken ages to realise your sexuality, but there are many who discover this after an extended time. I myself only accepted I was bi when I was 32. As for advice, this is what I usually advise..

Whoever you tell first, make sure it is someone you are close to and can trust to be accepting and understanding. That way at least you have support in place when you tell others.

When you tell people, try to catch them in a good mood and somewhere comfortable. You are more likely to get a more positive reaction that way. I also advise you try and work it into conversation. If you say to someone, something like "sit down, we need to talk" it gives them the impression is some drastic news which can put them on edge.

The final thing I always advise, is be prepared to answer their questions. Try and think what they may ask you so you can be prepared with responses, which will make the conversation easier. It's even worth practicing a couple of times what you want to say so you don't hesitate too much and come across unsure.

Hope this helps,

Happy days