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Coming out at work...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SonofaPastor, Jul 23, 2008.

  1. SonofaPastor

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I'm pretty much out to anyone who asks and I'm not really the type of person who likes to flaunt my sexuality so for the most part I don't talk much about it work. The thing is that people have pretty much started guessing I'm gay (which I don't mind, I figure if they want to know I'll tell them) and this is starting to become a problem because I work for a Christian organization. So I have this constant fear of losing my job if the wrong person finds out I'm gay (and please understand that I LOVE the place I work at now. I love my co-workers, our guests, and pretty everything about it).

    I'm kind of curious that if it's actually something I can be fired for... For a while I knew that church based organizations could fire LGBT employees but I'm not sure if the laws about that actually exist anymore (or if they even existed in the first place).
     
  2. paint

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    I suppose that it's an executive decision for your supervisor(s) . I hope that they don't discriminate, and you get to keep your job. I suggest you concentrate on work and build a good reputation for efficiency. Sounds to me like you may be an invaluable asset to their team. So use that as both a defense and offense. I hope that makes sense, and helps. Good luck.
     
  3. Miles D

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  4. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    They can't legally fire you....many people in your shoes face a difficult situation...do I continue to live a lie or be open to who I really am in the workplace.

    Best of luck.
     
  5. Lexington

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    Actually, if it's a church-based organization, I believe they CAN fire you. With or without cause. I think faith-based organizations are exempt from a lot of things.

    But here's the thing. My partner works for a very straight-laced, very conservative organization. Although it's not faith-based, almost everyone there belongs to the same faith. And my partner is out at work. How'd he do that? The way you might be headed. You say you love your work, and love your co-workers. That means you're probably getting pretty tight with some of them. How do you think THEY would react to knowing you're gay? My guess is if they're guessing already, they're probably cool with it. In that event, I don't think there's anything wrong in letting THEM know. But it's best to do it simply and discretely. Not with a whisper, but with context. If you have a boyfriend, talk about him a bit. If you went on a date, mention how it went (pre-bedroom). If you treat your homosexuality factually, and always within context of your daily life, I've found most people just take it in stride. I have a feeling your closest coworkers will, too.

    Lex
     
  6. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    I think that depends on what your organization does. However, you could call or e-mail Basic Rights Oregon ( www.basicrights.org )and they would be happy to help answer your question. When I was working on getting the Family Fairness act passed in Oregon we did have to add an exclusion for religious organizations but I think it mainly meant churches. I think if your organization is serving the community and receives any kind of federal/state funding that they cannot discriminate but BRO could answer your question more thouroughly.
     
  7. Antrioss

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    I'm not sure in Oregon, but in CA, you can actually file a lawsuit against somebody firing you on grounds of discrimination. Try looking up recently passed laws in your state, who knows, maybe they passed one, too.
     
  8. ScentedRegrets

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    Interesting because I have spent all three years of my young professional life working in Human Resources. Unfortunately, we live in an at will world, which basically means that employers are free to fire anyone at any time for any reason, or no reason at all. There are of course limitations, but in most cases, there are unfortunately loop holes. The clue is to prove yourself as a valuable asset to the establishment. Honestly, I consider myself a very sociable person, but I really prefer to keep everything on a professional level at work. It is just easier, trust me. When you start sharing personal stories and personal conversations, I have found time and time again that it isn't always with the person you're telling the story that the problem develops, it is with the person next door or around the cubicle corner that hears part of the conversation, not all of it, and draws generalizations. Believe me, I see all of the employee relations issues over a staff of 700 employees. There damn near ALWAYS is an unexpected audience.
     
  9. Hydrogen

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    Unfortunatly, most religious or non-profit based organizations are "at will" employers. This means they can fire or hire anyone they like without justification.

    and even worst, is if a company wants you gone, they can simply make your life a living hell until you quit. That way they are not "discriminating".

    However, I find a lot of religious organizations to be very accepting. If your co-workers seem to be ok with things along the line of homosexuality then I think you will be ok. Now, they will probably speed a lot of time trying to tell you why it is wrong, or putting you in the hot seat, etc. I have a friend who works for the Christians Children home, who is an openly gay man. They are willing to "accept" this about him as long as he does not bring his BF to the office, and keeps the details to him self, etc.
     
  10. Leigh

    Leigh Guest

    i havent got a clue about us law sorry.. how have the people you have told already reacted???
    since theres not really anything you can do... try to focus on working hard and being good at your job. then hopefuly - if it does become an issue - theyll appreciate that you are a valuable asset to the team, even if you are gay!!!
     
  11. Chris

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    I think that what has been said about being an asset is probaly the best advise! Good luck!!!:slight_smile: