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coming out for closure

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by igoloo2946, Apr 7, 2014.

  1. igoloo2946

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    So there's this guy In one of my classes and I have been in love with him for about 9 months or so. This is different somehow because I haven't really thought of anyone except for him. For the past few months things have started to get really rough for me, I have been having a hard time sleeping and paying attention in class because he's on my mind 24/7. Im not openly gay yet but I have come out to a couple of people. I want to tell him I love him and I know the feeling isn't mutual for him but god I have to say something and I have to talk to him about this. I just need closure and the same exact thing happened last year when i didn't say anything and I don't think that I can go through another summer in the pain I was in.
    Has anyone else had a situation like this?
    How would you handle it?
     
  2. B B

    B B
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    I'm not sure that telling him is the right thing to do. You see, if his feelings aren't mutual, the most probable thing he will do is starting to avoid you. In this way, you'd lose not only the possibility to stay with him, but also to be his friend. Yes, there's also the chance that he will listen to you and try to understand, but I don't see why this should help you: if he doesn't love you back (and if he isn't gay), his feelings won't change with your declaration. Moreover, are you sure that he won't go around telling people that you're gay? Are you sure you know him well enough to know that he won't run away freaked out and tell this episode to everyone he knows? I'm sorry I have to point out all these possibilities, but I was in a situation like this when I was 13, I did like you'd want to, and... It didn't end well :frowning2: so think carefully about this and about all the scenarios that might develop.
     
  3. Projectfabulous

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    So last year (aka last fall), I had a crush on my good friend (we were both out to each other). And I didn't want to like him and I knew he didn't like me, but it felt weird keeping it in, so I decided to tell him. I told him on new years day and he reacted really well. He pretty much said what I thought he said and that it was cool and whatnot. About a week later, I was over him and he pretty much forgot that it ever even happened. Now we're (still) pretty good friends and it really isn't awkward at all. Plus, I don't like him anymore.

    So I guess there's the possibility that he will understand and be okay with it.

    But like B B said, it really all depends on your relationship with him and if you trust him.
     
  4. igoloo2946

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    Thank you B B and Projectfabulous for the advice. I still have time to think about it and I most definetly do not want to put myself in a situation where I can get hurt.