Hey so I posted on here a week or so ago asking for light-hearted ways to come out. I made a big cake that said "I am gay!" on it and presented it to all of my close friends, three of whom already knew but just wanted cake Now yesterday I discovered that one of my friends has told three people. One is his sister, who isn't a worry because she lives ages away and I never see her. One is a girl in the year above who doesn't even know who I am, but who is friends with a load of people from my drama group. And the third is my next door neighbour, who is in my year at school, goes to my drama group, is friends with my younger brother and has the same amount of common sense as a hyperactive three year old. I've told the friend who outed me to tell them all that it was just a stupid prank, which he did, but I now can't go back to my drama group just in case it is brought up in front of my brother. I have a main part in the performance we're putting on in a couple of months, but if it gets out that I'm a lesbian, my extremely catholic and homophobic parents could chuck me out, send me to a convent school or even to reparative therapy. I just don't know what to do... The "friend" said that if he had known about my parents he would never have told anyone but frankly, he did. And there's nothing I can do about it now. I live in a really small area and everyone knows everyone. I just really need some advice on what to do next. My other friends have all been really supportive and are extremely angry at him. But I don't really know what to do and whether I'll be able to lie about it if I'm asked. I'm pretty femme, so no-one would guess, but it's obvious if you're told. I don't think I'd have the guts to lie to someone's face about it, but it absolutely cannot get out. Help? Advice? x
Have a word with the people that know and explain that you may get kicked out and that their gossiping could damage your family, they may agree to be quiet when they understand the specific circumstances. If your parents do find out and you are genuinely concerned about being kicked out then you will have to lie to them.
Make sure that if people do approach you about it that you tell them to keep it private, whether you tell them you're gay or not. Most of the time people will respect those boundaries, especially if they know even a little bit about the circumstances behind them. Most kids don't want to see a friend kicked out of the house, and if they know that's what's at stake they'll likely be much more likely to keep it in the dark.
I am going through this process myself so please bare with me; I do not mean for my words to come off as harsh... If you were prepared to bake a cake and introduce it to all of your close friends, thus publicly coming out to a large group of those most important to you, at some level you need to be aware that those outside this circle will inevitably find out. King's advice is perfect, but needed to be explained BEFORE the come out party ("My parents don't know, they wouldn't approve, etc"). Now that the genie is out of the bottle, it is incredibly difficult keeping this contained, and you'll either have to affirm the "rumor" and risk your safety or deny the "rumor" and hope they believe you. As for actual advice, you've already chosen to play this off as some elaborate joke, so run with that. Your close friends know the situation, so ask them to help the cover. You'll have to lie and stay closeted a little longer, but everything will work out. Always be mindful of who you tell your secrets to; like the internet, once it's out there, you no longer control it.
I know how people in religious circles move. Not sure on how to advise you but I hope everything works out for you.
