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coming out at work

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by anonym, Apr 9, 2014.

  1. anonym

    anonym Guest

    I had to quit my last job because I couldn't handle the dysphoria having to pretend to be female. I am looking for a new job and I'm not currently presenting as male but whether I was or not would probably not suggest to the potential employer that I'm transsexual as it would for an mtf. I don't really mind if people are unsure of my gender and see me as someone who they are unsure about being female or male. That is perfectly understandable to me as I'm pre t. But I don't feel comfortable with people I work with treating me as though I'm a woman. I think it would be too dysphoric. I could cope with being misgendered by strangers, especially when you only deal with them for a few minutes. But I don't think I could keep a lid on my gender identity in a workplace with people I was working with every day. So should I reveal it at an interview? Wait? Or is the whole thing too risky?

    What are your experiences? I'm in the UK btw.
     
  2. Manta

    Full Member

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    I don't have much work experience, as I am still a student, but I think interviews are a great time for questions. They show real interest to the employer as well as thought.

    I don't think you should pose any questions aggressively, but you could ask the employer's stance on LGBT or tans* issues and explain you identify as male if they ask why. If they say they would support you/treat you as you want to be treated, then ask how they enforce/promote equality and cohesion among the staff.

    If they won't accept you as a male from the interview, then you won't want to work there, so I think bringing it up for the interview would be worth the risk, but again, I don't have a great deal of experience to draw from. If the person interviewing you shies away from the topic, even if they say they will use your desired pronouns, etc, they probably wont enforce it among the staff and you will be left to fend for yourself.

    The thing most people forget about interviews is that it goes both ways; the person looking to be hired isn't the only one being checked out. You are interviewing the company, group, etc to see if they are right for you as well. If you go in with confidence and a list of detailed, in depth, and well thought/researched questions about the job, asking about the work environment will follow naturally :slight_smile: you will impress your potential employer, and get the answers you need.
     
  3. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Last time I checked, according to the various human rights conventions we are signed up to a trans person must be treated as the gender they say they are. BUT an employer cannot bring it up at interview.

    Frankly, you would be well within your rights to not mention it at interview, get the job and tell them before you start that you will be coming in as male and expect to be treated as such. If they kick up a fuss they are breaking a series of anti-discrimination laws and could be in serious trouble.

    Alternatively you could go to the interview, present as male and ask to be referred to as whatever name and see how the interview goes.

    Or depending how much you want to (and if you have the money) you can get a letter from your GP to send to the passport office along with a change of details form and get your gender marker changed on your passport which is what I'm doing. Apparently it works, but I have yet to confirm this.
     
  4. Miiaaaaa

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Wales
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've got to agree with Manta, finding out theirs stances on trans* issues in the interview seems like the way to go. :slight_smile: