Hi there, I just joined and I got some great advice on my relationship with my boyfriend, so I figured I should ask about this too since you guys all seem so great. I have known that I am attracted to girls since at least 6 years old and now as a 20 year old I am starting to freak out a bit. I am an only child, which is why I am so attached to my parents. My parents are very supportive of me with everything that I do and we talk about pretty much everything but sex and love and relationships. I have never had to go through "The Talk" and whenever I mention sex my parents practically cringe and change the subject. They trust me to be safe and know that I will do what is right so they just don't talk about it. I have only told my mom about a couple of crushes that I have had in school and I rarely talk about boys or dating and they rarely ask me about it. Do you think that they actually know that I am gay and am just waiting for me to come out? I dressed boyishly until high school when I told my mom that I wanted to dress more feminine. I tried to look nice during high school but whenever I was home I would immediately change into a t-shirt because it was just so much more comfortable. Now that I am in college I have reverted back to my old ways and often wear jeans and t-shirts or sweaters. Have my parents already caught on, or is this not obvious enough? I know that my parents support LGBT rights and my mom loves Will and Grace and Ellen, but I just can't tell them for some stupid reason. I guess I don't want my life to change because everything besides my love-life is going so well and I am getting by on having secret crushes. Am I being ridiculous for not saying something or is it alright to wait until they ask me? Thank you again for the help
You could try dropping a few hints and see how they respond. Mention it if the LGBT group on campus hosts a good event or comment on a movie with prominent LGBT themes. Do your parents talk about your future as if you will live a cis-gendered heterosexual life? Saying things like "when you have children..." or "you can use this as your 'something borrowed' at your wedding" are signs that they don't already know, although those examples might seem a little obvious. One thing you could mention is adoption rather than birth and see what they say. I've tried that and it gives me a very clear idea of how my parents see me: Even though my parents support LGBT rights they always respond "Yes, you think that now, but its not the same and one day you will want to get married and have kids of your own..." Which is a very clear indicator. Bringing up the more distant future will circumvent the whole dating and sexuality uncomfortableness as well.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! I'm glad you found us here. The fact is, nothing in your life is going to change - except for the fact that you'll be EVEN MORE comfortable with your parents because there won't be any secrets and they'll be spending time and talking with the REAL you. That's all. The fact is, they aren't likely to ask. Even after you tell them, they likely won't bring it up again, and you'll have to 'come out' again to them to encourage them to acknowledge it and talk about it. (At least that was my experience with my parents.) Good luck!
