Hello everyone! I have just recently moved a couple of states away to go to college. Ever since I was growing up I have liked and dated girls. I never really had any other thoughts about a guy. Anyway when I got into my first class there was this guy who kind of caught my attention. I noticed him as he was leaving the class. I didn't think much of it at first. But then I really wanted to get to know him so I started to have some small talk and stuff with him. After a couple of days we started to sit next to each other in the back of the classroom, and goof off every once in a while. A couple of days later my school was holding this talent show thing and I asked if he wanted to go watch it with me, he said "sure". When we went to the talent show we were kind of uninterested and I asked if he wanted to go see a movie instead and he said yes and we went to watch the movie together. Since then we have hung out a couple of other times. Since then I have started having this incredible strong feeling...not really sexual...I just want to keep spending time with him and I think I really, really like him. The thing is I have never felt anything like this before and I'm not sure what to do. He has showed some signs that he might like me the same way (or I could just be over-thinking it...I will list those signs at the end) but I'm not really sure what to think. I would really like some input on what to do. He just moved from far away too and he has a girlfriend back where he used to live... Some of the signs that I was talking about earlier: We are friends on Facebook now and he likes just about everything that I post. I have two couches in my house and he always sits next to me on the same couch even when it's just him and myself. It came up that he went to church a lot back home but he very quickly said that he isn't a "churchy" person (Not sure if he was referring to most churches stances on gay or if I'm just really stretching :icon_wink ) Anyway, sorry about the really long post I just have a lot on my mind and I'm not really sure what to do. I really like this guy. Please help! Thanks!!
Hm, I can definitely see how this could be confusing for you. Don't rule out the possibility that you're not straight, but do you think you may just have a man crush on him? I never experienced it, but apparently it's a thing that happens to guys, and since you said there's not really any sexual attraction, that might be what's going on. With that out of the way, I think you might be over thinking it a bit. Though the couch thing seems a little out of the ordinary for most guys, the mind tends to warp our perception to reinforce what we desire. Do you think you might be looking for signs that he's also attracted to you? How would you feel if he asked you out on a date/told you he's interested in you in a "more than friends" way? Flattered? Excited? Uncomfortable? There are a lot of possibilities here. You could be straight, curious, gay, bi, straight but biromantic, etc. I say for now you should just keep being friends and see if these feelings intensify or settle down. Though if you feel like you LIKE him and want to push for a more-than-friends relationship, try working some relevant LGBT topics and see how he responds. If favorably, you could even ask "Could you ever see yourself dating another guy?" or something along those lines. Keep an eye out for signs, but don't try too hard to see them (I think the church one was a pretty big stretch). After examining your feelings and his actions some more, you can choose how you want to act. Or you could take the simple route and just discuss it with him as you just did here. But that takes a level of blunt, nonchalant confidence that pretty much nobody has.:lol: Lastly, don't worry too much about it. Worrying often doesn't do much good. Hope this helped!
Coinshot, I think that I would be flattered and excited if he said that he wanted to be more than friends. I do kind of want to see where it could go I guess. I just don't want to lose a friend, but I am incredibly curious to know how he really feels. I agree that kind of waiting and feeling it out is the best option...Is there anything that I should be looking for? Also, what do you think about the whole girlfriend situation? Something that I forgot to mention is that I have a lot of fun when we are hanging out but when he leaves I just start to lose focus on everything else and just pace around the house. There was one day that I just literally couldn't do anything but think about him (and I don't understand why!)...it was a terrible feeling. It has been better recently but I still think about and miss him a lot. I agree the church thing was a definite stretch ... It definitely helped thank you!
Hi there and welcome to EC! You've come to the right place to discuss this kind of thing. The other question I would ask is, now that you've had these feelings for one guy, what do you think about other guys? Do you think this experience has stirred something in you that would have you looking for another guy if this guy doesn't turn out to be interested in you? Or other than him do the girls on campus still turn your head? I'll just say that it isn't unusual for you to be your age before this same sex attraction can come to light.
Jim1454, Hey and thank you! I'm not really sure how I feel about other guys, I mean I don't necessarily see myself looking for other guys but I might, it depends on the guy I guess. I still like other girls on campus, but I haven't felt like this in a very long time towards anyone really. I just can't stop thinking about him :/ I mean I think one of the reasons that I like him so much is that he likes the same things that I do, and the fact that he doesn't drink or smoke or anything like that. It is hard to find someone that doesn't do those things around my age. Also, I think that he is pretty cute, which is strange for me because I have never thought that way before! Anyway, I want to tell him but I want to wait for what might be the best time to say something, or until he breaks up with his girlfriend...if that happens. Thanks!
