Hi So I'm 17, a junior in High School, yadda yadda. At any rate, I've known that I'm gay for a while but it's a little complicated - I'm both romantically and sexually attracted to men, but I'm romantically attracted to women as well. Though I'm not in the least bit sexually attracted to them. I've been wanting to come out for a while now, but I have a hard time associating the label "gay" with myself because I'm still opening to dating women, and yet the term "bisexual" doesn't seem to fit either. Then adding the "Biromantic" tag seems excessive to some extent. I was so ready to come out coming into this week (as I posted below, I started by coming out to my bestfriend), but suddenly I get a knot in my stomach whenever I consider doing it. I'm not afraid of being labeled gay - I know my friends will be supportive, as well as my school over all. I also know that my parents will be supportive (though I don't plan on coming out to them just yet). I don't know, I'm just tired of this "identity crisis" if you want to call it that. It's hard - I don't want to be labeled straight anymore, and I know that if anyone asks, I will reply that I like men, but for now - I don't know, I get that labels are just labels, but it's still nice to know where you fit. I hope I'm not coming off as pathetic. Haha. I don't know, it has just been causing me some internal conflict recently, and I figured you're the right people to turn to. - I came out to my best friend this weekend, btw. - she was very supportive and added her own news, stating that she was Bisexual. Which was comforting.
I totally get this. For the first couple of times I came out to people, I'd shake all day and feel sick before telling them, whisper in their ear, and then continue to shake until I got home. It gets easier with time (at least for me it did) and basically you just have to force yourself to do it, especially if you're shy. Something that has helped me personally is not making it a big thing--casually mentioning that you like/have liked a guy can be way easier than formally labeling yourself. Another thing that could work to curb nervousness is turn it into a guessing game. (Cowardly, perhaps, but effective ) Hope I was helpful.
It is natural for you to be nervous - this is a big deal. It is also natural for you to not have this nailed down yet. Many people don't figure themselves out until they are much older than you - so it is normal for you to still not be 100% sure how to label yourself. If you know you aren't physically attracted to girls, then would you consider dating them anyway? If not, then the 'gay' label probably does fit best. But there's no hurry in concluding on this - saying 'not straight, figuring it out' is where you're at, and that's what you can indicate to people if you want to fill them in on what's going on with you.
