How do I come out?

Er... not sure there is a right way or wrong way, the only way is your own way. Everyone on here will have a different story to tell about coming out.

A lot will depend on how confident you feel, your home and family circumstances, who you want to tell and need to tell and how prepared you are for the likely reactions from other people. It's when you take all of these things into account that you can begin to make a decision about how to do it. It sometimes feels scary and can take a bit of strength and courage.

When it comes to parents, siblings, relatives and close friends, many of us set aside a time to talk (the talk being about our sexuality), but some of us prefer to write a letter if a conversation might be daunting or difficult. Often, we start dropping hints in advance of the conversation/sending the letter... I remember doing that myself.

There are some people who find less conventional ways to come out, like coming out cakes, coming out parties, but this is perhaps less common.

There are lots of threads on here about coming out. Have a look and see if you can take something away from them.

 

This is the advice I usually give,

First of all come out first to someone you know will be accepting. That way you will have someone to go to for support if someone doesn't take it well (which can happen).

When you are going to come out to someone, make sure you are both relaxed and in a good mood. This will help you come across more relaxed and help get a better response from them. Also, try and work into a general conversation. Don't sit people down and say something like "we need to talk", or "I have something to tell you". That can make it seem like you have some drastic news, which it shouldn't be.

Also, think about what you are going to say to people. You may even want to practice a few times the general things you want to say. That way you can tell people with clarity and confidence, which again will help you relax and not come across as if you are uncertain about it. Also try and think of questions you may be asked so you can answer with resolve.

Finally, if you are dependant on anyone you are telling, try to gauge their attitude towards LGBT before you tell them. You don't want to risk potential problems, especially with parents as this can have serious consequences. If they are not amiable towards the issue, it may be better to hold off until you are independent and so can cope regardless their reaction. Also, you must be prepared for negative reactions from others as unfortunately they can occur.

Hope this helps and I wish you luck.

Happy days

 

First, well done for coming out to yourself and coming onto the forum - you've taken the first steps

Next, choose someone you know will be supportive for your first person, or first few people, it helps build up your confidence.

I started with a text to help me build up confidence. Later, moved onto telling people in person. I did say, "I've got something to tell you" to a few people as it was really hard to work it naturally into conversation - didn't seem to cause a problem to me, although I get what Radioactive's saying.

It will feel scary, but you can push through the fear and go for it. After, it is a massive relief, and, after a few, it gets easier. Good luck.