I've sort of already come out, but my mother has completely forgotten about it, as she has returned to using female pronouns with me. Any who, I need help with figuring out how to come out and make it COUNT. When I came out the first time I asked my mother if she was familiar with the term transgender. Of course, she answered that she didn't quite understand. I simply told her not to refer to me as a girl, but rather with neutral pronouns. Her only question to me was what to replace the word "daughter" for. This totally dismissed the fact I tried to tell her to use they/them pronouns. The main underlying problem is the fact it's EXTREMELY difficult for me to speak to my mother. I can't even manage to tell her my preferred brand of bread when she makes grocery trips. My anxiety just goes through the roof thinking about confronting her about anything... I could just hardly THINK of going to talk to her about something and my throat already begins to tighten. Right now it seems really impossible to come out to her, let alone it being the SECOND time I'd try. But, I've been having anxiety attacks that are linked to the misgendering, and I just don't know how much longer I can hold out like this. I really need all the help I can get.
The problem with that is again in the fact it's hard for me to speak to my mother. I can always feel the words in the back of my throat to correct her, but they never make it outside of my mouth. I just don't know how to make myself say it.
How did you explain it to her when you first came out? If you just described it in terms of your preferred pronouns, she may not have understood how important it really is. It may help to try to explain to her what it really means to you. This will be very difficult, but it is extremely important. (Says the person whose gender identity is known to exactly one person in real life *sigh*)
