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scared

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sam2, Apr 12, 2014.

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  1. Sam2

    Sam2
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    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    So i've been open about my sexuality with my family for about a year but that's it. I have a history of moving and changing schools, every year or so i have to make new friends. But we moved to colorado 3 years ago and it looks like I'm staying here. So i want to tell my friends that I'm gay, I know some will say something along the lines of "ok, i don't really care your my homie either way" But i have some "Friends" who absolutely hate LGBT people.

    (Oh yea, I have been in a few fights because with my history of being bullied I refuse to stand by while someone is being harassed. I've stood up for other gay kids, black kids, nerds, you name it. I've had my ass kicked more for other people than for myself)

    That being said i have a bit of a target on my back. So back to those "Friends" who hate gays. some have simply said they wouldnt be friends with me if I was gay. But a few have told me that if i was gay they would "find me walking home from work and beat me to death" I've actually had 1 person tell me they would shoot me if I turned out to be gay. needless to say this is hurtful and terrifying. do people just like to talk? cuz at this point in my life i could care less if people didn't want to be my friend but the idea of being jumped or shot scares the living crap out of me. anyone else been talked to this way? and any advice? I realize this is a dramatic 2nd post, but i was just threatened today and I'm freaking out :eek: any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
     
    #1 Sam2, Apr 12, 2014
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    Location:
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    Honestly I want to say it's just talk. Keep in mind beating someone to death or shooting you aren't exactly something most people can just get away with, and MOST people aren't stupid enough to try...

    But there's always the few that are.

    I'm trying to think middle ground here.

    Now you say you've spent your life standing up for the guy that's getting picked on. So that leads me to ask you one thing.

    If you like to stand up for people, why are you even friends with the guy who wants to shoot gay people and the guy who wants to beat them to death? I mean threatening to murder someone you don't like seems like a perfectly good reason to stop being friends with someone to me even if it didn't affect me. If any of my friends told me they wanted to beat black guys to death or burn down a bus full of Jewish people I sure as hell wouldn't be friends with them any more and I'm neither black nor Jewish. Why not just stop being friends with those people and come out when they are not in your life anymore>
     
    #2 BookDragon, Apr 13, 2014
  3. blueberrymuffin

    blueberrymuffin
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    Obviously none want to give advice that could get you killed.

    I think Ellia is correct. You should not hang with someone who would threaten to off you and instead, come out privately to those who would accept, if possible. It sounds like you're brave to stand up for others, but you gotta think safety first.

    So i would entirely ditch the one who talked of following you, and if it looks like he is stalking you at that point, consider reporting. You've a right to not hang around demented, violent freaks.
     
    #3 blueberrymuffin, Apr 13, 2014
  4. Stingray

    Stingray Guest

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    Hey Sam, :smilewave

    Until you sort out who your true friends are, I wouldn't tell any of them that you are gay. At 18, you'll be leaving high school soon, so many of these "friends" won't be around you much longer.

    I admire the fighter in you, but the bullies seem to get the best of you. They target you because they see you as a threat. You may need to become a better fighter. :badgrin: Bullies don't like to tangle with guys they perceive to be tougher than them. The threats may be just talk but you can't be sure. What was the threat you just received?
     
    #4 Stingray, Apr 13, 2014
  5. Sam2

    Sam2
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    Yea after high school is over, they'll never see me again. And i hung out with them do to stuff the happened in the past(very long story).

    And that's the thing, i can fight very well. most fights I'm in I've won. No one will see me back down from a Fair 1 on 1 fight, but often when i start winning others jump in, and the tide turns quickly.
    But yesterday was at work, of all places. this guy I work with, kept calling me a fag so i finally said "you know that's really offensive, what if a customer here was gay? what if i was gay?" to that he just scowled and said "I'd find you quick, and you'll be sorry"..... Punk.
    luckily work isn't school, there's laws saying you can't say stuff like that at the work place. So i reported him this morning and the manager asked if i wanted to press charges. I don't want to press charges, cause I think we should just be able to talk about stuff or at least throw down and just get it out of the way. But i will press charges if i get even the slightest hint he's serious.

    Thanks for all the advice, I do think most people are just talking, but still I don't want to get jumped. Can't wait to get out of high school so I can actually start my life:slight_smile:
     
    #5 Sam2, Apr 13, 2014
  6. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    I hate to say this but I would hate seeing you on the news even more: don't let these people find out. If it means being closeted until graduation, do it. Live to fight another day.
     
    #6 Gates, Apr 13, 2014
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