I need a little advice. I have been trying to decide if I need to come out. I just accepted myself as gay a few months ago. Since then, I joined a meetup group so I could have a few more like minded friends to do things with, and started dating a guy. A couple of my friends have told me that I need to come out and that nobody would care if I was gay because it is so widely accepted today. In my situation I don't think it would be wise to come out to people I work with because I am afraid of losing my job. The guys I work with are a bunch of homophobes. I think a few of my friends would be understanding but shocked maybe. I have a less than civil relationship with my sister who lives about 10 miles from me so she would be the last person I would tell. Most of my relatives live about 1500 miles north of where I do but I try to see them about every 2 years or so. Does it really matter if they or anybody else knows? I have so few straight friends left in my life anymore I just don't know if it matters. Most of the people I see everyday are work acquaintances either customers or employees. I was real excited about things a few weeks back but now I am just wavering on this and I just really don't know.
So here is something that might help you. There is a difference between "being out" and "telling everyone your orientation". I am 'out' as pansexual. I have told what...4 people in person and this forum. If someone ASKS me point blank I'll tell them, but I see no reason what-so-ever to tell the people I work with or anybody else what my orientation is. How many times has someone come to you and said "Dude, I'm straight!". I'm guessing never. Why would you need to do the same to them? As long as you aren't actively hiding it out of shame or something, who cares if you tell anyone.
I'm in a similar situation to you - similar age and have only very recently admitted it to myself, but other than joining here, have yet to tell anyone. I work with a large group of people, most of whom are a lot younger, and many would probably be fine with it -- but I have no intention of bringing it up there. They just don't need to know, and I don't feel comfortable injecting that into the workplace. For that matter, when I was married, I didn't discuss the details of my marriage there either. I have two sisters with whom I will likely discuss it at some point however, because we're pretty close, and I'm sure they'd accept it. The one sister is married, and she makes no secret that one of the things they like about their church is that they're accepting of LGBT members. My other sister is happily married to a great guy who was bisexual when they met. I will tell them, because I they're close family and I need to discuss it with some people. Beyond that, I probably won't tell more than close friends for now. If I meet someone and start a relationship, then I will reevaluate, as I won't want to be closeted about it. I think you have to feel comfortable with who you tell. And I don't think there's any need to broadcast it to any with whom you don't want to share.
Ellia has a very good point. You don't actively have to go around telling everyone that you're gay. I'm "out" and I don't do that. If someone asks and I think they'll take it well, I'll tell them. But I don't just go around making a deal of it.
