Ok, so maybe that title may have been a bit too dramatic compared to the sitiuation. Anyway, I'm bisexual. About a year and a half ago my sister told me she wanted to be a boy. I was completely accepting about it because she's my sister and I love her to bits even though she doesn't act the same way to me. One day, my mum and I were out shopping, I thought it was entirely the wrong place to talk about things like this but regardless, my mum whispered to me, "You know your sister was thinking she was transgender..." I nodded, figuring my sister had obviously told her which I was happy about. But then my mum went, "well, part of her ocd is worrying about things like that so I doubt it's true." (Last year my sister was diagnosed with ocd, it's really bad and sometimes it makes me cry but I haven't told anyone that before) I was honestly shocked that my mum acted like that, the fact that she must have actually looked it up, it makes me think she was trying to find an excuse for it not to be true. As if that wasn't bad enough, I feel like she was trying to convince me too. I will always accept my sister no matter what her sexual orientation is and I don't think my mum should have been the one to tell me that. So, my problem with this is, I don't want to come out to my mum as bisexual for her to just dismiss it as a phase or me being confused or something. Out of my parents, she is the one I'm telling first so if I don't feel comfortable telling her then how am I ever gonna tell my dad. So, sorry this is like an essay, please let me know what you're thinking. Xxx
I think parents get hit the hardest with kids coming out, partly because they (typically) assume their kids are straight and have all of those fantasies about families, partially because it's hard for them to accept that their kid is "funny that way," because being it oftentimes leads to bullying and other hardships for kids. No parent wants to see their kid get bullied for any reason, and for something out of their control (i.e. sexuality, gender identity), it's that much worse. So when a parent finds out that their kid is not a straight, cisgendered individual, it can come as a shock for any of those reasons. They might try to deny it because they want their vision of their kid to become a reality, and most parents don't see their daughter running off with another girl. Or they might just be scared for you because they don't want to see you face all of the problems that gay people face. Any other reason imaginable is also possible, but I think those are the big ones. So I think that your mom is trying to avoid the fact that your sister may be transgender, because she doesn't want to believe it herself. I think that mentioning it in that setting, though, was a bad idea. I think if you're worried about coming out to her, you should sit her down and talk to her one-on-one, and explain everything to her. Start from the bottom and work your way up to the full story. Tell it like it is, that way she's got no excuse. That way if she's denying it, it's all her and you didn't give her a reason. I honestly hope that eventually she comes around to accept both you and your sister for who you are. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!
