Hey everyone, I kinda don't know what to do here. Over the past 8 months, i've come out to my sister, my 3 best friends, and my "kinda-adopted-me" parents. and each of them have taken it amazingly! my kinda mom is going to set me up to meet with 2 life long friends of hers who are lesbians so i can figure out how to meet other gay people and just kinda start my life. Anyway, I want to come out at work. The main CEO is gay and his boyfriend is freaking awesome. He even dressed up just like the CEO last halloween and it was hilarious. I live in Asheville btw and this place is very gay friendly and the people i work with are basically family. I mean, they would do anything to help me and I feel like it wouldn't be a thing if i came out to them, but the thing is, it seems very odd to even think of bringing up at work. Any suggestions? I was thinking about buying an LGBT ring or something similar and have them kind of ask, or make them kind of "figure" it out. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend since I've worked there(about 2 years) with no interest in getting one either...so, i dunno. any thoughts?
That's a good one. Since they've never seen you with a girlfriend and you've never "pretended" to be str8, do you think it would be too odd to simply take the next step and simply not hide your orientation in every day conversation? Assume nobody assumes and is ok either way? Might get a few "huh?" comments the first time you mention you'd love to date a guy just like that character in that movie, followed by a whole lot of "whatever, it's cool"? Or say something on National Coming-Out Day (might have to wait a while tho, it's Oct 11)?
This gives me the impression that it is very safe to come out at your workplace. I'd start with your line manager (tell him directly in a private meeting), then start to include it in your daily conversations... Man I wish my boss, or bossboss, were gay. Recently I've been thinking a lot about coming out at work. But things are complicated, as I'm working in a technical field and I'm a line manager myself.
For myself, being recently out of the closet, coming out at work sits like this in my mind. Work is work and my personal life is my personal life. While in an ideal world the two would not mix, the reality is people talk about what they do on the weekend, who they're dating, what they do with their spouse, kids, pets, etc. Now that I'm out with my wife and family, do I make it a point to bring it up at work? No. It's not relevant to the day-to-day conversations I have with co-workers. The friends I have at work already know, and I talked to my director shortly after coming out at home so she would be aware of why I needed time off for appointments (for therapist which is winding down, 1 last visit at the end of the month! ). She is very supportive and stressed the policy on non-discrimination is not negotiable, so I should bring any concerns to her attention immediately so they can be dealt with. So, do I go out of my way to out myself with co-workers? No. But I also do not avoid talking in a normal voice with my best friend about my boyfriend. So if people overhear and put it together, good for them. Besides, if things work out with us like we expect, in a couple of years when it's time for my 10-year anniversary dinner he will be my invited guest. -Rick
I can kind of relate. My company is very diversity focused and includes LGBT stuff in all of its awareness campaigns ect. An executive in my department is gay and everyone seems very supportive of him. He recently got married and we all got together and hosted a wedding shower in a conference room. And yet, coming out at work is still very hesitant for me. I still worry about being treat differently from "the guys" and I do not know how I would go about doing it without being awkward. I definitely do not want to just make some awkward-ass announcement at a team meeting or something. Even when I think about just telling the executive I talk myself out of it... hes very personable but I still feel like it would be forced and awkward. As for wearing some sort of bracelet... well in my field we often work with allot of clients and I would prefer not to advertise myself as something "controversial" at work. It also does not help that my dad works there too (completely different division) and I certainly do not want him to know.
thanks for the replies everyone. I too worry about how "the guys" will act afterword, because they are in their 40's, with one close friend being 50. I know they are all somewhat homophobic to some degree and I feel it will change things.. well, it feels odd to come out in general i think. Its not something easy to do for me, plus talking about who I would like to bang or be with isn't something I ever talk about..
