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Might have to come out to more people...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by alex772, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. alex772

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ok so my friend came back to town and is currently living with my ex. I've pretty much isolated myself for the past year and haven't really talked to any of my friends. Anyway I ended up talking to my ex and she wants to get back together with me so obviously she dosent know that im gay nor do my friends. I told my ex that we would talk about it when I come over tomorrow. I just don't know if its a good idea to tell her especially with my friends around but I think I pretty much have to tell her in this situation. I really just don't know what to do. She has gay friends and I know she would be ok with it but I think she will go tell my other friends and I dont know how well that would go over if they find out. My friends just love to gossip so if they find out everyone else is gonna find out within a matter of hours. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...
     
  2. JasonZilla

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    11
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    Location:
    Kansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    You know, these situations are always one of those things that seem like there is only one answer. But the fact here, is there is more than one answer.

    [​IMG]

    I feel like you feel like the only option is to tell her you are gay. If that is not a legitimate option because you are scared she may tell everyone else that you do not want to know, just tell her that you are not in love with her. That there are not feelings there anymore. See this way, you would not be lying, and you do not need to out yourself needlessly. [​IMG]

    Never let any situation out you, unless you are ready to let it out you. Meaning if you can accept that even if you tell her, "Look, I'm gay", and you tell he please keep it between us, you need to be willing to accept the fact that she may tell a friend in confidence, but that friend may not give a crap about you, and tell everyone else. Like at a pool party or something lol. idk.
    [​IMG]

    Look, just give it some thought. If you can accept she might tell people, then tell her so she will have a better understanding of why you are not into a relationship with her. OR, just tell her the truth in a different way. Like how I mentioned. Then you do not need to say anything about being gay... unless she has a cute friend you want to get hooked up with. [​IMG]


    Hope I helped a little!

    Jason [​IMG]