So I'm pretty sure i'm gay, or bi. Anyway i've been with this girl for the past month whom i really liked at the start, now i havent really got the feelings for her i should have to be in a relationship with her, but still i'm not sure whether to end it. I guess i'm trying to prove to myself that im not gay by staying with her, but i know i shouldnt be. Just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and what their thoughts are.
Yes. I've dated a girl before. I'm not sure if it was because I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay or what. In the end though it just very hard for me because I started to accept that I was gay and what on earth am I doing dating a girl. (a year or so later) I finally came out and talked to her about it making sure everything was understood about what I did, why I did it and that none of it was her fault. I'm shocked that she still see's me a very good friend though. I'm sure there are others on here but that was my story. I don't know if it helped you or not. It's a bit of a deeper story than that so if you really want to know I can tell you more but I thought the main part would be enough
Hey thanks for that. I do really care about her, and i know by being with her and not having the feelings i should have for her then i'm kind of hurting her, if that makes sense. I'm sure I should i end it, i just guess im being a wuss and need to work up the courage. I definitely won't be able to tell her why, I don't think I'm at a stage where i even accept it, let alone tell other people.
Two things. First off, yes, break up with her. Do it gently. Tell her you really DO like her as a friend, and would love to keep hanging out and doing things with her, but you just don't feel any sparks at all. Secondly, start on the process of coming out to yourself. That'll take some doing, but the sooner you start, the sooner it'll be done. Lex
No you're not a bad person. We're all just people. Some of us make mistakes more often than others, but nobody is inherently out to get the world. That said, if you don't completely know your sexuality, it's probably in your best interest to break up with her. It will save you both pain in the long run. As for self discovery, take your time. Don't expect to know yourself in a day. Just keep thinking about it. You'll find out soon enough. :]
I went through the same situation when i was younger. I dated a boy who was gay but wasnt out. Trust me you are not a bad person. You are young and confused. its normal. Just be honest with her. If your not at the stage, then you should at least end it with her. It will hurt at the begining but it is the best thing to do. Now me and him are like best friends lol.
I agree with Lex,you should tell her you're not interested in a relationship yet...Believe me,I tried to go to the club(thought someone would be interested for a date),but I just couldn't get my eyes from guys(it rhymes:lol.One girl wanted to meet with me,but the moment I looked at her I wanted to puke...I didn't like her although my brother thinks she's hot...
Hi there! As Lex indicated, I think it would be better if you do end your relationship with her. Talk to her about your feelings, and let her know (and as Lex mentioned) that you do want to stay friends with her. Do it as gently as possible though. If you don't break it off, it would not be fair to her nor to yourself. Continuing in a relationship with her, you only would continue to confuse yourself about your feelings and hide an important part of you. It seems to me that you are still a bit unsure about your sexual identity. Take your time in figuring your sexual identity out. Explore the feelings that you have as it were. Come out to yourself first and be comfortable with your feelings, before entering a relationship with anyone. Take it one step at a time. There is no rush. Take the time you need to figure it all out. Hope this helps!
I don't think you're a bad person! Just don't use someone to find out things about yourself. I'm sure it's justified though, so no worries. Like others said above, try your best and let time decide things. It's important that you know yourself before you start a serious relationship with others.
Matt, I took a while to end it with my boyfriend (but we'd been dating for 3 years, plus there were other issues). First I hinted at the fact that I liked girls. Then about a week later, I continued this conversation etc. It took a little while, but eventually everything came out. We broke up, but are still really awesome friends (oddly enough, but so great...)
Thanks for the advice Elizabeth. I know it will be hard at the beggining, but i guess if i can do it sooner rather than later there will be a lot less pain. Everyone's advice has helped heaps
