I am a boy scout they do not allow open gay adults. I love the boy scouts and I will stay in it as long as I can. I am gay I have told very few people only my closest friends that I trust. I recently told my parents. My parents think I need to tell my sister, but she has the biggest mouth ever I can't trust her to keep it quiet. My parents are trying to force me to come out to her. My parents are trying to guilt trip me into coming out to my sister saying it's what needs to happen for us to be honest to each other as a family. I really don't know what to do to get them to stop trying to force me to come out.
If you don't trust her then don't. And tell your parents you don't trust her. Yeah she's your sister but that doesn't mean you have to like her or trust her with your private life. I would really reconsider your love of the boy scouts thing though if they aren't accepting of gay people. i would figure out what you like about it and find something similar that isn't going to eventually kick you out.
Ironically without the boy scouts I would not have been able to accept the fact that I am gay. A good friend of mine who I met through the boy scouts noticed that I was struggling with my sexuality and helped me through it. I love the boy scouts cause of how much I've learned and I want to be able to help others reach their full potential. My sister is 20 years old. I have told my parents why I don't want to tell her, but they don't listen.
At the end of the day it's YOUR choice....NOT THEIRS. The thing you have to do is figure out a way to help the realize that, and also realize the fact that they keep "guilting" you and trying to force you into telling her isn't helping the situation in the least. Coming out is already a very stressful situation and they are not helping at all. You need to make it abundantly clear to them that their persistence and guilt trips are the last thing you need.
Tell your parents that family works on respect and they need to respect your decision to not come out to your sister. Would you feel comfortable coming out to your sister after you are out of boy scouts? Because that might be a compromise. Your parents really need to respect your decision to not tell your sister and the reasoning behind it.
I can understand your parents concern, and honestly, they are trying to model authenticity and the importance of not keeping something important from a family member. Put yourself in your sister's shoes and imagine how you'd feel if you were the only one in the family that didn't know something pretty important, and you might understand how your sister might feel... and why your parents are encouraging you. At the same time, I see your point as well. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your parents, make it clear that you understand their concerns, and ask if they are willing to listen to yours. I'm really not sure what the best solution is here, because I agree that it's your choice when to come out, but I also see the importance of not making your sister feel bad by keeping her out of the loop.
Having the need to please others by doing things we don't want to do is something we should all try to avoid. We are our own person. We have to make our own decisions. We are not obligated to do things for people, even if their relationship is blood. If you love the Boy Scouts, stay. If you end up losing your place in it, at least you squeezed extra enjoyment out of it. Just do what makes you feel best, and not what others expect of you.
Tell your parents the truth. In my experience, the best thing to do is be honest. Honesty is the key to the best out come in coming out.
If my parents bring it up again which I know they will eventually I'm telling them that I am not telling my sister. Hopefully this prolongs my parents telling her. I know eventually the boy scouts I think will eventually allow gay adults but that's not for certain I don't want to risk it. Thanks you'll for the help I don't really have many people to talk to about this stuff.
