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Now or later?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by w1e2e9s5a9L6ou, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. w1e2e9s5a9L6ou

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Saskatoon
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey everyone, I'm in need of some opinions from those who have come out to family/large majority of friends.
    I'm 18 and pretty sure I'm a lesbian, and have since i was about 10 years old. It's always been something that's been popping into my mind when my uncles asked if I had a boyfriend yet (joking when I saw them once a year) and I felt kinda bad about it. As I grew up I started to push those feelings down and dated guys for 2 years and just couldn't make myself feel more than just friends (bombed my first kiss cause just wasn't feeling it - poor guy!)
    About two years later 17 I accepted that yes, I am gay, and I can't make this go away or force myself to just "feel strongly for a guy" as much as I wished I could. I have been noticing the attractions to my girl friends more, but have only had one girlfriend (4 months long distance) and it was difficult. I cared a lot for her and felt more comfortable and relaxed talking to her about stuff, more cared for and caring. So as I said I had accepted it myself, but still don't know how to go about telling others.

    I am leaving to university in 4 months and am not sure whether I want to come out now to my parents/friends (Christian school) and see how it goes or wait until I am on my own. I had always thought since it's only a year, 8 months. 5 months, etc. that It would be easier to come out when I live on my own. However it's killing me to live in the closet as much as I am (deep) and it's almost all my mnd things about. I have a councilor and I still haven't even brought it up to her yet just because I'm nervous .:bang: I really don't want it to be attributed to a physically/sexually abusive relationship I was in 3 years ago, I don't want people to say "well you were just hurt" and such... that's part of why I'm nervous.
    I really just want advice whether you'd just wait 4 months and push through, or come out and deal with whatever consequences??

    Thank you guys!!
    Weesa:confused:
     
  2. Karabeara

    Full Member

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    Well I would start telling people one by one whenever you're ready. It sounds like you're ready now. :slight_smile: What I did was I told my closest friends and that's as far as I've got. Next I'll tell my parents then other family then friends. I found that telling just a few people made it to where my whole life didn't change but I wasn't all alone. I'm going to tell my parents either when I go to college or when I get a girlfriend because I don't see a need to change everything before that. It might be better though for you to tell them now that way they're cooled down by the time you leave and they can't blame it on stress or whatever. Though if they're not going to accept it they're just not. :/ Really if you feel you're ready to come out do it. Don't worry about what other people think because if they're going to make an excuse they're going to do it no matter what. I know I only semi answered your question but I hope it helped :slight_smile: