So I've questioned my sexuality since I was 10 and finally accepted that I'm lesbian when I was 16 but only told two friends. Since then I moved and started going to a Christian school, so had to stay as far in the closet as possible! I'm the only one here who knows (not freinds, parents, cousins, etc) My problem is that for the last year I've been constantly thinking about my sexuality and how horrible I feel keeping it a secret, and how hard it is not to be able to just flirt with a girl or say "that girl's really hot!" or anything like that. I am going off to university in 4 months, and am joined in the GSA there and going to be volunteering at an LGBT support group. I am excited to be able to live as myself. However for the meantime how can I get through the next 4 months without it takiong over my mind? Is the only way to come out or is there any other ways? I'm going crazy... :bang::help::tears:
I don't really know the details about your school, but at my school, which is roman catholic (though im not) there's one out guy who is one of the most respected students at the school. Even if it is against their beliefs people tend to look deeper into a person than their sexuality for definition. Not all christians are the westboro baptist church. Plus, it's not like you have to be entirely out, you can tell just a few close friends (that can keep a secret of course!) I'm hardly out at all but the 3 or 4 girls who know are my rock whenever I need to let anything out. It's really whatever you're comfortable with, haha.
Thank you very much, I might be overworried about coming out at my school because I'm not really a "popular kid" I'm kind of just a neutral person to almost everyone. My school also had a principal 3 years ago who wrote a doctorine statement that had something to do with homosexuality and got fired for it. I don't know if it was good/accepting or not but I know it was bad and they had to find new principals and there was a lot of kids taken out of the school - choas... So I don't know that worries me a lot, not sure if the people who are left there are the ones who are okay with homosexuality or the people who arent.. I guess I could tell 2 of my best friends and see how it goes.. just feel so anxious and secretive all the time, you know?
Oh I know. It sucks lying to my friends but sometimes I feel like I have to no matter how much I accept myself. It's funny that I'm giving you advice because I'm not even out. But with the whole principal thing yeah maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to be officially out.. but then again why the hell not you only have 4 months left.
Don't think it's odd giving advice when you're not officially out yet, someone who understands a bit is so nice! I guess 2 months that I have left of classes are not going to kill me if they are a little rougher. I will see how my sanity is holding out when I tell two good friends.. go from there. I'm debating emailing one of them (we're on break for a week) and doing it that way so I don't have to face-to-face first with them.. :/ That sounds really pathetic doesn't it? *sigh*
Not pathetic at all. Of the three or four I've told I told one of them face to face. Now two of the other three were in class with me at the time it was just over skype or email and there was awkward eye contact.. But it's easier to share your feelings from behind a screen where no one else can hear you. I'm planning on telling another friend on Wednesday when we have plenty of free time between classes and I'm having trouble forcing myself to do it face to face. I haven't talked about it out loud just because so few people know. I'm literally making myself do it though. I sent her a message on skype that was something like "we need to talk but I can't do this over skype what kind of free time do you have this week." Hopefully we're both successful, it's really horrifying thinking about it though.
I'm sure you'll do great and she'll be really accepting of you, your other friends have been, even with awkward eye contact! Just feel confident and comfortable when you tell her, and make sure she is in a headspace to take you seriously and think. I am feeling a little better about emailing/writing my friend a note, I think it will give both of us time to think before we talk face-to-face if she needs.. Thank you for the advice and support, I have to go to sleep now, but let me know how Wednesday goes? Wishing you the best!
Heck, I'm a lesbian baptist lol. The WBC's nightmare. God made you Gay, and don't be afraid of it. It isn't a sin if God put it in you. The reason for all the hype os a mistranslation. There's no greek word for homosexual. The real sin was child molestation and sleeping on a menstrating woman's bed, due to it being unclean. None of that has to do with liking somebody your own gender. Be happy, God made you gay. Even if the world doesn't accept you, God always will.
Wow that is WBC's worst nightmare! How did you get to being okay with being a lesbian mixed with your faith (assuming you believe)? I had heard that because there was no word for homosexual they took the word "eunich" in the bible which meant manbedder or mail prostitute and used it to mean men sleeping with men - homosexual..
I went through something similar, though not a christian school. I grew up in a small conservative town full of churches (but mostly judgmental people). I struggled with the realization that I liked girls as well, because I grew up going to church my entire life. It took a while, but I realized the same thing that a previous poster had said. God made you just the way you are. And you are meant to live and love and be loved. Though its hard for some religious folk to grasp, as long as you can reconcile it with yourself, you're good. My response if anyone says anything religiously based to me is, "I'm secure in my relationship with God, and while I appreciate your concern, it's between God and me." you know? Now to your second question--I went to a jesuit university (though I'm not catholic) and became very close with a few girls who were born and bred catholic. I was scared to come out to them, but knew I had to. They were shocked, at first. but they soon realized that they loved me and knew me as this kind, compassionate person, and saw that my orientation didn't change that. I almost feel like maybe it was my duty to be the kind hearted, god-believing lesbian they, and other catholic babies, needed to open their minds and hearts to it. And maybe that's what you're meant to do too. Hope it helped, good luck, and you can do it and get through it! Oh! Also, writing in a journal helps get all those feels out of your body so you don't have to constantly focus on not imploding from emotion.
Thatès a really good way to look at it, being the one thatès there to help people understand and become accepting. It just seems like religion adds so much extra difficulty to something thats normally difficult.. It makes it really difficult to keep your faith or care about your church when everyone there makes you feel like the way you life and who you love is a huge sin. Ill think about it and maybe when I find a new church in the city I will be able to find one thats accepting than the one Im at now. I will definitely keep being a kindhearted and caring person so they all see God in me in that way... You guys are all so strong to face this regardless of religious belief.. Thanks. ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2014 at 11:18 AM ---------- I used to journal, but failed dismally to write in it every day - maybe writing something important like venting and when it bothers me will work better! :icon_bigg :eusa_danc
This, my dear, is the truest words i've seen written in a while.:eusa_clap Jesus said "Love each other as I have Loved You, this is my Commandment to you" there is no where in the Gospels that condems us.(&&&)
Well, I pray about it frequently, asking God o help me accept who he created me to be. Knowing the truth that he made me a lesbian with a purpose to serve him. He helped me accept being lesbian more than anyone.
I just wanted to say thank you all so much, these words of encouragement and reminders that God loves everyone (including gay people) helps me so much! Message me any time
