I've been wanting to tell my mum that I'm gay for a long time now, but I've never been good with expressing my feelings and thoughts verbally, especially with such an emotional and potentially awkward topic. Chances are that if I did tell her verbally, I'd lock up and probably be unable to express what I want clearly. I always, always prefer to tell people things using written words, and I was wondering if you guys think that writing a letter would be a good way to tell my mum. That way I could clearly express my feelings in an order that makes sense to me, and I'd be able to say everything I need to without any risk of me getting too emotional and missing things out. It would also give her time to react and work things out before she needs to talk to me. I'm heading up to Scotland on the 9th May for the weekend, so I could leave her a letter then (perhaps with some chocolates, flowers or wine to make sure she's in a good mood) and tell her she could text me if she has anything to say or ask. I could also leave a leaflet I've seen with the letter for parents of LGBT people so I know she knows everything I want her to. The downside of writing a letter is that it's less personal, and I wouldn't be able to react to her reactions. I know that she'd be okay with it and still love me, but I still have this irrational fear that she won't. It's silly, I know that, but I can't prevent it. I'm also unsure about how she'll react because her dad was gay. He committed suicide when she was young because my grandma found out, and that's bound to influence how she'll feel. I know she's fine with gay people and stuff, I just worry about how she'd react to someone in her family being gay. So, do you guys think it's a good idea? I hope so... I don't know how I'd ever be able to express it with words.
Writing a letter is perfect! That is the way I am planning on telling my parents. Just remember she will probably want to talk to you about it afterwards so be prepared for that. There is nothing wrong with coming out in a letter. Good luck!
Writing a coming-out letter is very common, and is a great way to go about it. Do what feels most natural for you. It seems like you know how it'll go already, so keep us updated!
I'm not trying to bump this or anything, but I've just sat down to try to write the letter and I have no idea how to word it. Any ideas?
I wrote a letter. It was written really poorly, but whatevs. Your mom probably won't care how you word it, as long as you get the idea down. Gosh I'm not being helpful at all
There really isn't a formula or recipe for writing a coming-out letter. I came out in person, but before I did I looked online for lots of coming-out letters and watched YouTube coming-out videos for inspiration. That might be a good place to start. Some of the things I made sure I really emphasized when I talked to my parents were: -None of this is new. I've known this for a long time. I'm not going to do anything different or out of character (since they were worried about being promiscuous or flamboyant) just because I'm out. -I'm comfortable and confident in being who I am. If I weren't, I'd still be in the closet. -I have told a couple of friends who have been really supportive, and I'm prepared to deal in case people in the future aren't as supportive Hope this helps man! Good luck!
It is very common to write a coming out letter... I think it is a great idea! Keep us postedon how it goed
