Hello everyone. I don't know how much information I'm supposed to share with y'all, so I am going to keep it simple. I am a middle aged man, been with my wife for 27 years, have four children, and am ready to free myself to live the life I should be living. I guess in some ways, I've been fortunate. My wife has known about me being gay from the start of our relationship and has been fine with it. Over the years, she's had no problems with me finding male partners because she doesn't have a jealous bone in her body. I've always wanted to be a father more than I wanted to be with a man, so I suppose I've been blessed to have her as my wife. Having to hide being gay from her is not something I think I could have done all these years. Still, the time has come for us to part ways. I love her and she loves me, but I feel that the time is right for me to live my life solely as a gay man, rather than a gay man living in a heterosexual marriage. So, I'm partially out of the closet. Over the past year, I've told three of my children, all of whom are 100% behind their dad. I cannot tell you how much that means to me. The child I haven't told is my son. He's the oldest child and only son. I'd be a liar if I said this hasn't played a role in me not telling him yet. In my defense, I've tried three times to tell him over the past two months, but he hasn't been home. He's very busy with his job and girlfriend, so getting him to come to my house is difficult. But I'm ready to tell him. As for other members of my family, (sister, parents), I told them back when I was 17. I moved out of state when I turned 18 and came back when I was 23 with my wife in tow. The subject has not come up since, but I'm ready to tell them too. Now that I have all that out of the way, it brings me to the reason for me joining this site. I know enough to know that publicly coming out will bring changes to my life. I don't think people will view me negatively, but I know they will view me differently than they do now. I need something in place for support through this coming out process, and have not been very successful at meeting many gay folks where I live. So, I'm hoping that this site will provide me with what I am looking for--a place to talk about where I am in all this, my thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. So, that's about it for my first post here at Empty Closets. I particularly would like to read responses from other people who have come out publicly in middle age, but I am looking forward to developing friendships with all of you.
Hi! Obviously I'm not in your situation, as a short glance at my profile will show you. I just wanted to make sure you knew about EC's Later in Life Forum!
Welcome! What you'll find here are many people who understand exactly where you are coming from. Everyone has their own tolerance level for where the balance is regarding how much you keep in and how much you let out. It is a very personal thing. With any luck, we get to decide who we will tell and when. It looks like you have been making clear progress in going after what you need to do. I think there is a very good chance that all will work out just as you would like.
