I cannot take it anymore. I have hid it for 14 years from him and can't stand it. I have to tell my dad. However, there is a problem. If any of you have seen my posts before, you'll know my dad is very conservative. He's very by the bible and word for word. Some time ago, when I was in denial about being lesbian and writing it off as bisexual, I finally got the courage to tell him. It didn't go well. He denied it. I was trans at one point to cope with being lesbian. He denied it. He wrote it off as a phase and said to pray it away. Now, I have accepted that I am fully lesbian. Now is the time to tell him. When it comes to hard things, he will do what he needs to . Sometimes if they are fact based more than emotionally based. However, he loves his three girls dearly. Yes, I am the youngest out of the three and the most like him , but he loves us equally. He didn't respond well to thinking I was bisexual. He is very by the book and doesn't approve of homosexuality. Whenever he sees it, he reacts negatively. I will have my sister there (who is a straight ally) when I tell them I am 100% lesbian and 100% sure of it. MY other family members (who are straight allies themselves) know I am a lez and accept it. Any other advice to give? I am pretty scared, but I must get it done. What should I say to him? How should I tell him? How should I handle this with not too accepting parents. In a bit of a panic here, so please help!!!!
I totally agree! You ARE brave! I came out to my great-grandmother, and she responded in a similar way. She thinks I need to "find the right man", and constantly asks why I don't have a boyfriend... My advice would be to go through with your plan of coming out to your dad, UNLESS you think he might kick you out over it. In that case, it's not worth it. If you're brave enough to show him this documentary, it may ease his views on homosexuality: ( Homosexuality documentary ) - YouTube
I agree with Wdwrker 100%. I wish I had half the courage you have! I may not be the best person to give advice about coming out since I'm not fully out myself, but just be honest with him. Point out how unhappy hiding who you are is. Maybe give him a couple websites for LBGTQ parents and urge him to look them up? At the end of it all, just tell him this is who you are, you've accepted it, you hope he does, and then just give him time to process it all. Sorry if that's not much help...I hope it turns out well!
It's difficult to offer any specific words that will soften his attitude if he is as conservative as you say. I think you know in your heart that this might go down badly, so it's really a case of being strong and avoiding any heated rows. If it gets like that, get out of the situation and go where you have support for a while, as you will not win, whatever you say. Try to be tactful and respectful, but don't compromise. You are not in the wrong.
The only thing I can think of is to remind him you are still he same person he has always known and loved, he just knows one more thing about you. But as a person, you haven't changed since before he knew, and you are still a good kind moral person, as he has brought you up to be. Hope that helps somewhat, and I wish you the best. Happy days
I'm pretty sure he won't take it well, but I donut he will kick me out. My oldest sister (Lauren) says there's a 90% chance. MY older (middle sister, Daelyn) says he won't. I have to tell my step mom as well. She's not accepting of homosexuals either. However, to guard me, Daelyn will be there when I come out. I did try coming out to him once when I thought I was Bisexual (turns out I'm not, I was in denial) He wasn't happy about it. Neither was my step mom. MY dad said "you aren't bisexual", and "being Bisexual was wrong". My step mom shook her head and kept saying "No Mads, thats wrong. You can't be bisexual." There's some more background if that helps.
I don't have advice specifically because I'm not entirely out and no one I'm out to is conservative, but there's a tumblr post somewhere about a gay couple in the Bible, and sodom and gomorrah never specifically mentions their 'sins' were actually homosexuality. If he's really by the book maybe this may help, but use your own discretion cause he might be one of those people who gets offended when you argue a different interpretation of the bible. Good luck!
