Well right now i'm in my bed and should be sleepin' bt instead i'm thinkin' of commin' out to everyone one by one...... I just can't sleep right now and plannin' on every step of comin' out to my friends and siblings.... I don't know why i'm feelin' like this.... Is it some kind of phase...??? I know things will change huge time if i do so but i can't able to see that part right now..... Am i rushin' things doin' that??? Should i or shouldnt??? The biggest problem is should i come out as gay or bi??? Which one is more easy to defend???? Plannin' to come out to my sis first then some close friends...... But let me ask you guys once again am i rushin' things??? Is this a phase??? and what is the worst most outcome of comin' out??? kinda scared and excited...
Hey, Dude First thing I'd say is: if you're not sure whether you're gay or bi, don't just pick one at random XD I think if you're feeling pressured to come out, it's easy just to try and rush into giving yourself some kind of label so it's easier to explain to others. But if you're sure that you're into guys, than you can just leave it at that! When I first started coming out to my friends, I just told them I wasn't' t straight, 'cause at the time, I wasn't brave enough to be any more specific :S That way, people know, but you've still got time and space to figure it all out - and when that's done, you can come out again XD (If you came out before but in as vague a way as me, then people will be expecting a 'second coming out' for elaboration purposes). Just a thought Good luck with everything!
to tell you honestly, none of the two will be easy to defend i agree with cosmic, don't put too much pressure on yourself to come out or figuring it out. if you're gay or bi, that's just something that comes naturally when you come to terms with yourself. by then you'll be able to know for sure. i encourage you to think about it a lot, it seems like it's pretty quick and done with at first but when it comes to the moment, it'll get a bit difficult. you're on the right path of being able to know yourself more, being able consider the people you care about and how it affects them, so it's not a phase really. try to get an idea or understanding where your close ones might think of homosexuality in general. it's a long "process" but i'm sure that with time, it'll definitely be worth the while
I know how you feel about wanting to come out to people. I'm considering it for next year, but I'm already out to most of my close friends and a few others. I don't think you're rushing things, but I would consider the potential consequences, either positive or negative, of coming out to people. If the positives outweigh the negatives, then go for it; if it's the other way around, then maybe you should wait a while. But once you come out to one person and they have a positive reaction, it gets a whole lot easier to come out to other people because the fear of a negative reaction has been pushed back. And you don't have to come out as either gay or bi; it's okay to just tell people you're curious. Don't worry about which one's easier to defend, because both options are hard to work with. Neither one's really "easier." Think about how you feel about girls. If you're still attracted to girls (romantically or sexually), even a bit, then you'd be bisexual; if you have no attraction to girls, you'd be gay. You can be bi but still have a preference for one sex over the other as well, so if you like boys mostly but you still think girls are attractive, you'd be bi w/ preference for males. That's how I am. It can be a pain to explain, but most of the time people just leave it at "I'm bisexual" and that's enough. I hope this helps! Let me know if I can do something else for you.
Hey Robin, I've been there and currently go through it every so often. That 'wanting to come out feeling' phase that keeps coming back to me. But I guess in the end it depends on how far you restrain yourself until you can't deal anymore. Try not to rush things too much and always consider the consequences of your actions. You should come out for who you are because weather your gay or bi, your still going to have to explain and sometimes even defend yourself. No matter what you do, do what makes you happy.
If you are doing it because you are 'agitated' or distressed I would say WAIT. until you are calmer clear about WHY you want to tell people decided whether you are settled on gay or bi more sure about who you want to tell and what you want to say It might be better to discuss it with one trusted person first and see how that goes and then think about telling other people after that experience. If you are at Uni its a great place to do it .. but you will be leaving there soon?
Heyyy The urge you feel is completely normal. You feel like you want to get rid of the secret now & wanna get on with life in terms of accepting being gay or bi. But right now as you are still feeling agitated & stressed out it probably isn't the best time to come out. Feel more confident, relaxed and calm...then come out. You wanna make sure the people your coming out to see that you are confident & relaxed about it...more so than agitated/stressed out etc. As the latter will just make them more stressed about it! I agree with what Bingostring said in that come out to one very close, trusted friend or sibling first. And then I'd say with their support feel more confident about it and come out to others slowly. Either way feeling like this is the first step to eventually coming out, so you're getting there!!!
hmmm yeah "i wasn't straight" line is good for the early stages and later when i figure out what i really want then i can do a "second comin' out".... i like your thought cosmic... ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:07 AM ---------- i know none is easier to defend especially living in country like India... people here are soo narrow minded.. they don't understand a single thing.... i know if you're gayor bi it comes naturally but it ain't comin' to me.... i'm still confused..... yeah i too think i need to process more over this..... thanks btw ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:10 AM ---------- i know it isn't offensive atleast not for me... that's what i know... i'm talkin' bout the ones who thinks it a crime or those religious retards.... believe me i'm struck with a shit loads of people like that here...... ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:21 AM ---------- yeah i guess your theory of negative and positive is true.... because when i came out to my best friend.. he was soo supportive and wasn't concerned me being gay or bi or whatever... i think that's the reason i wanna come out to more people as i'm more on the positive side..... hahahaha believe me the people here haven't heard the word "curious" as in terms of some sexual preference.... i tell you i have a friend who doesn't even know what being Gay means.... i mean people here are such retards.. well i don't think bout girls but havin' sex with any one of them is amusing..... hehehe i don't like them or stalk them; on the other side i like guys... especially cute ones(like you) :icon_bigg but the idea of havin' sex with anyone one of them is just out of my mind.... i don't really know who i an or what to define myself.... ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:27 AM ---------- so this is a phase u believe it too?? well i can deal with it more... but i don't see any more point not doin' so.... i know some consequences might be terrible for me..... i guess it will bring me more confidence once i get to know what i'm really is... if i myself not confident bout maself how can i expect others to understand... lol if i follow this... i might end up kissin' all my crushes.... :icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:29 AM ---------- well i already said to ma sister and to my close friends.....
yes i agree i'm agitated with the over the whole situation.... and i surely look to your points... well already discussed with my best friend and he was very supportive..... wel i don't think Uni is a great place do it atleast not here.... leavin' it in 3 years.... ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:41 AM ---------- yess yess you totally get me... "tu hamesha correct baat bol deti hai janeman" i seriously wanna get rid of this secret thing atleast in front of some people who are close to me.... yeah i know all this agitation this depression i know its corrupting ma mind..... and forcin' me to do all the wrong stuff.... i'll take some time and think more bout it when i'm calm and relaxed..... thnx brotha.... (*hug*) ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 03:43 AM ---------- thank you all for your awesome advice.... feelin' blessed on joinin' this forum....
