So you're probably wondering, what the heck it is I'm thinking. It's really simple and it's connected to my possible Paranoid personality disorder. (Never been to any kind of doctor, I've read about its characteristics, and I seem to pass for a lot of them) Ok, so I have a group of online "friends" and I've known them for years now. We always do crazy, stupid, and childish stuff, and laugh about it. The thing is though, there's an awful lot of hate towards the world in our group, something even I used to add to, especially before I realized I was a little different... I've been reducing the amount of hateful comments, but really as long as I only say stuff to them, and I never actually go around hating on people it doesn't hurt anyone. I don't mean it anyways, I just sub-consciously enjoy their non-hateful personalities, and that I have "friends". Still, I've always felt that I'm the weakest link, who doesn't really want to participate, and just lets them "do their business". However, they could potentially turn into my greatest enemies, if they found me out. I'd be the ultimate traitor, and they'd go out of their way to ruin my life as much as they could by sitting before the computer. (but believe me, they could just go ahead and spread the "news" to a lot of people easily) And I have no idea what to do. I know I'm not evil, I know I have no problems with anyone (unless they beat me up or something) and I want to be the peaceful me completely. To do that I can't possibly imagine "coming out" but more like "going even deeper in the closet" and leaving them slowly. I always have this feeling that they're watching, or they might have hacked my computer, or maybe I click on the wrong button once and let them know...I don't know what to do.:help:
