Lately I've been considering coming out to my mom as trans. Before I was so scared that I thought I would never do it but now its getting harder and harder and the idea of coming out has seemed easier so maybe its the right time? I live with my mom and my brother. I know for a fact that my mom is supportive of trans people because I have a trans guy friend and she uses the right pronouns and name but after she met him she said she was glad i wasnt like that because it would be really hard for her... my brother on the other hand is pretty transphobic but hes moving out in two months so i would probably come out after he leaves. I'm pretty sure that my mom would let me transition and be supportive but I know it would be really hard for her and I don't want to disappoint her. I'm also really scared that we won't be as close if I transition because my mom is practically my best friend we're very close so I feel really bad about doing this to her.
You and I are in a similar predicament. I have also been struggling with coming out to my own family that I am trans*. This week I started by telling my closest friends, who have been accepting of it. My mom is also pretty ok with the LGBT community, and my own little brother would definitely not like it at all. Like you, I don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, it's hurting me to lie to her. Sometimes it seems we have to be a little selfish about what makes us happy. This is who you are, and it is best to be honest with the people closest to you. Not saying anything has left me feeling disconnected from the world around me, in fact at this moment I should be writing a paper due tomorrow, but instead i'm here because my mind is clouded by this struggle. After coming out to my friends I feel much better than before, but it's not the same as telling family and hopefully beginning my own transition. Do you have any friends that you could tell first? I find the practice helps build your confidence about the issue. If not, try to plan when, where, and how you want to tell your mom. It may be hard for her, but if your gut is telling you that she would accept you for who you are, then you should tell her. It's not fair to her and to yourself to keep the real you in the closet. Open the door and let her in. And remember that there is always someone to talk to here on the EC. I've found its a good place to vent. Best of Luck!
