Hey all. So I’m 20 and in college and am feeling extremely lost. I have never had an experience with a girl, yet am fairly certain I am gay? But it’s hard to say because I have had no actual experience, and am just going off of how people affect me. So I’m not out to anyone because I’m still unsure of where I fit on the spectrum. I don’t know how to figure it out though? I guess I need to just explore my sexuality, but how the heck do you go about that? It seems that many of the people I meet and am friends with are relatively closed minded about sexuality (which, I’m realizing, probably means I’m not hanging out with the right people…) but how do I find the right people? I am so, so ready to be myself, but feel somewhat trapped waiting for something to happen?? So I am seeking some advice from you lovely people. Thanks so much! :smilewave
Hi! Welcome to EC. :smilewave While it might seem like you can't be sure of your sexuality without having some experiences, I can assure you that's not true. You can tell if you're attracted to girls even if you haven't done something. It's a little tricky to figure out, but you just have to think and ask yourself various questions. "Would I enjoy kissing/cuddling/sex with a girl? How about a guy? Have I had romantic thoughts for girls? Guys?" Imagine yourself in hypothetical situations. That's how I managed to figure out my sexuality, and I came out long before I started dating a girl. I'd also had no experiences with one prior to coming out. Personally, I think having no same sex experiences before makes it slightly easier for you. Sexuality is never easy, but from what I've seen in other threads and such, experiences like that can make it more confusing. As for finding the right crowd, there's a bunch of ways. Maybe your college has a GSA somewhere on campus? You never know. Or there could be one nearby. It doesn't matter what your sexuality is, there's usually a good crowd of people in there who are willing to welcome and accept you. And just because your friends are shallow minded when it comes to sexuality, it doesn't make them bad friends. There are good people out there who aren't very accepting of LGBT, and vice versa. It all depends. Hopefully I've helped you out. If you ever need somebody to talk to on here, feel free to send me a message. I'm online a lot and would be happy to help.
